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fractal

New Orleans

SG Since 2003

Followers 13546 Following 2

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Sunday Jul 04, 2004

Jul 3, 2004
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she sends me...blue valentines...

to mark the anniversary...of someone...that I used to be...

fucking hell.

highs and lows, great nights and then the hangover the morning after, guess we all crash sometime...beach at midnight, someone who makes me blush...I listen to horribly depressing music when I'm happiest...mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head...

My ear is itchy, who's fucking talking shit about me? Mind your own goddam business.

This bitch inside me keeps rearing her head, The Cynic is taking her stand. She really doesn't mean to hurt anyone, she prefers to just take the self destructive route, it's easier to just break your own heart and crawl inside the snug little warmth of the apathy, then to deal with the reprocussions of inflicting it on others. And she expects no sympathy in the long run, she doesn't want it.

From anyone.

She just wants the beach at midnight, and to pretend that even just for a second, the fantasy could be a reality, without the sabatoge or the destruction, without thinking it's over before it even began.

A dear and brilliant friend once said to me "There are times all rules are
suspended...they hang in the air and if you are quick enough you can hurtle
words and bodily fluids without catching too much heat...."

There's jasmine in the air...I get drunk on it.
VIEW 25 of 50 COMMENTS
autrix:
Fractycakes! I misses you! ill im you right nows!
Jul 11, 2004
samyung:
Between the dunes is a bridge called irony that carries you from self loathing and apathy to solace and joyful laughter. Cross it. The water gets colder as you approach the ocean, but only those that want to see you happy will follow, especially in the brisk midnight air.

[Edited on Jul 12, 2004 4:09PM]
Jul 12, 2004

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