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fractal

New Orleans

SG Since 2003

Followers 13546 Following 2

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Sunday Mar 28, 2004

Mar 27, 2004
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What is the cycle of it all? Is it all a cycle, a constant reminder of things said and done long gone and dead, that constantly haunt you, regardless of the time or place, no matter how far removed? Or is it a constant new moment, indisguinishable from the next?

Do we only hold onto the what ifs of life?

23 is a big number. Monumentous things are attached to it, in a Robert Anton Wilson/Kabbahla intrepretation. I approach my 23 year in this life in a few months. Were tonight's events a catalyst for the year to come?

Sometimes its hard to keep my eyes open, to remain the strong one. I've been referred to as a survivor so many times in my life, I'm so sick of that word. The stigmatism attached to it. The emotional barrier, the great wall surrounding my heart. Or is it just because I gave a piece of my soul away so many years ago, and I'll forever be incomplete without it? When does the barrier break, and the flood run? Maybe I've just run out of tears to cry, and I've let my heart break too many times. Sometimes I'm just so tired.

It's funny, the contradiction of my Gemini soul. The stars gave me duality, the turn on a dime frame of mind, the grass always looked greener right ahead or right behind me. She wants nothing more than the Great Love, the endless dance...The storm blue of a faded memory.
VIEW 25 of 78 COMMENTS
topbanana66:
This morning on WEEKEND UPDATE: Fractal eats all the chocolate and upsets the bunny.... smile
Apr 9, 2004
puck99:
Ok, I'm drunk so it's probably not worth listening to me, but for what it's worth - there's no point getting overly depressed: You ain't dead, you ain't dying, you probably haven't seen your family slaughtered or been continually abused on a clandestine basis - I'm not gonna lie, shit happens and it sells a lot of t-shirts, but it's part of breathing, farting, and realising you look like crap in the morning - if turning 23 is the worst you gotta worry about, then you're a lucky mare! And to end - this probably doesn't help at all, but I'm gonna be honest - you definitely do not look 23... you are still insanely attractive, whatever the numbers read on your birth certificate...
Apr 9, 2004

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