fractal

I've realized I only write the crypto entries when I'm playing the "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" game. And since I no longer bother with that sort of nonsense, I can actually focus on life, rather than fantasy lands I had a tendency to reside in.

I opened up my journal this afternoon, and the last entry I had written was "I want to be sober". It was written over a month ago, and I've remained so since. I've went back and forth between drinking heavily and being stone cold sober for years, usually leaning more towards the former. It's been nice waking up every day for a month without a headache.

Seeing how all of that is in order, happy in love, happy in sober, I've turned into one of those insane people that take too many photos of their cat and on occasion carry her around in a Juicy Couture pet bag. I've started a new endeavor as a "homemaker", and it's just fabulous. I cook, I clean, I am the Stepford Not-A-Wife-Yet-Otron extraordinaire.



I recently did an interview for a newspaper and discussed all of these things, and one of the questions the reporter asked me is how I felt about seeing girls on the site that have been on it as long as I have (or longer) growing up. This site has turned into a scrapbook for me. And I'm not talking about that creepy aisle in the crafts store with all the Martha Stewart I'm Middle Aged and Really Need a Better Hobby pieces of colored paper. That aisle makes me incredibly uncomfortable, and strikes fear in my heart, along with visions of undersized sweat pants and white high top running shoes.

All that said, I shall return to my domestic duties.