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* New Journal Feature*

Today's Words from my Fridge:

"Will four player starfish eat your mum's plums?"

Please consider cancelling any plans you may have on the weekend of August 21st and going to see my show in a hotel in Scotland. More details on my site.

Yeah. Well. going of to see Kevin Smith tomorrow so it maybe the only day in god knows how long that I don't end up bullshotting on here while rehearsing my show. It's all shaping up but I'm not sure what others will think of it because my carefully selected, highly secret, Internet test audience have disappeared in apuff of 404 - Page not found. Hmmm.

The word 'crush' is mentioned on here a lot and I have become distressed to note that I don't really have one. Maybe it's because I'm too picky. What I'm looking for is someone to flirt with occasionally who i have no chance of actually boinking. In other words they may actually know I have a crush on them. I'm that kind of guy. If I like someone even someont out of my league I like them to know. The thought of nurtutring some secret obsession seems deeply sad and like too much effort.

Maybe, even in my devotions I am too demanding.

God my spelling is appalling. I type too fast enjoy!