So we're still together. It was a long and stressful weekend, but we talked a lot of things out and I think we're going to be alright. Basically, she did something a couple of weeks ago that betrayed my trust. She felt terrible and told me about it the next day, which did mean a lot to me. She didn't have to tell me anything. I never would have known. Still, after what happened, my trust was a little tender, for lack of a better word.
Then, on Friday night, we went to a party together, and both had a bit too much to drink. She ended up doing something that she NEVER would have done sober, and it made me mad enough to want to take a cab home from the party.
I went home, very upset, and slept on it. In the morning, I sent her a text saying to call me if she wanted to talk. She woke up, not remembering the night before, and thinking, "Where's Jess? And why aren't I in Providence?" Then she saw my text and was like, "Oh no..."
I told her what had happened and she was horrified. I had spent all morning thinking about what I was going to do, and told her that I wasn't going to leave her, but that this was Strike Two, and if she fucked up again I would leave her. But I do love her, and I do understand that what happened was circumstantial. It was just VERY badly timed as far as my trust went. I told her that it would be up to her to prove to me that I made the right decision, and that she would have to work to earn my trust back.
So after that, my friend Julie took me out to lunch to get me out of the house and give me a sympathetic ear. It was pretty much exactly what I needed. It's funny how the smallest things, like getting a cup of coffee together, can mean the most in a friendship.
I texted Poochie and told her that I would be at a particular coffee shop at 3, and if she wanted to talk about what happened she should meet me there. She didn't get the text until 2:20 (it's a 45 minute drive), so she freaked out, bolted out of the house, and flew to Providence.
When I got to the coffee shop, I saw a woman I hadn't seen in maybe a year, who I had an almost-past with. She was an artist who I was supposed to model for, and under different circumstances we probably would have been together. It was odd timing. I spoke to her for a few minutes, told her that I was trying to get back into doing some modeling, and gave her my phone number. I could tell she was happy to see me, she kept fumbling like a teenaged boy.
Poochie had walked in at this point and was patiently waiting for me to finish talking to her. She didn't approach us or say anything, she just stayed on the fringe. Later she told me, "There was nothing I could do. For the first time, you weren't mine. It was the most upsetting feeling I've felt in a long time."
We talked at the coffee shop for a long time, which turned into dinner, which turned into drinks, which turned into walking around downtown Providence. I invited her to stay the night, and she didn't leave until this morning. Things are going to be alright.
I didn't think I had any trust left, but she managed to find a little bit of it, and had to conquer one of her personal fears to do it. I do trust her.
Yikes.
Then, on Friday night, we went to a party together, and both had a bit too much to drink. She ended up doing something that she NEVER would have done sober, and it made me mad enough to want to take a cab home from the party.
I went home, very upset, and slept on it. In the morning, I sent her a text saying to call me if she wanted to talk. She woke up, not remembering the night before, and thinking, "Where's Jess? And why aren't I in Providence?" Then she saw my text and was like, "Oh no..."
I told her what had happened and she was horrified. I had spent all morning thinking about what I was going to do, and told her that I wasn't going to leave her, but that this was Strike Two, and if she fucked up again I would leave her. But I do love her, and I do understand that what happened was circumstantial. It was just VERY badly timed as far as my trust went. I told her that it would be up to her to prove to me that I made the right decision, and that she would have to work to earn my trust back.
So after that, my friend Julie took me out to lunch to get me out of the house and give me a sympathetic ear. It was pretty much exactly what I needed. It's funny how the smallest things, like getting a cup of coffee together, can mean the most in a friendship.
I texted Poochie and told her that I would be at a particular coffee shop at 3, and if she wanted to talk about what happened she should meet me there. She didn't get the text until 2:20 (it's a 45 minute drive), so she freaked out, bolted out of the house, and flew to Providence.
When I got to the coffee shop, I saw a woman I hadn't seen in maybe a year, who I had an almost-past with. She was an artist who I was supposed to model for, and under different circumstances we probably would have been together. It was odd timing. I spoke to her for a few minutes, told her that I was trying to get back into doing some modeling, and gave her my phone number. I could tell she was happy to see me, she kept fumbling like a teenaged boy.
Poochie had walked in at this point and was patiently waiting for me to finish talking to her. She didn't approach us or say anything, she just stayed on the fringe. Later she told me, "There was nothing I could do. For the first time, you weren't mine. It was the most upsetting feeling I've felt in a long time."
We talked at the coffee shop for a long time, which turned into dinner, which turned into drinks, which turned into walking around downtown Providence. I invited her to stay the night, and she didn't leave until this morning. Things are going to be alright.
I didn't think I had any trust left, but she managed to find a little bit of it, and had to conquer one of her personal fears to do it. I do trust her.
Yikes.