"...her feet worked the pedals while her appetite steered. after that she just followed her nose. and fate is not just whose cooking smells good, but which way the wind blows..."
mr. d told me this morning that he was gonna pick up his daughter, age 3, from school today and hang out with her all day until her mama got off work. he asked me if i wanted to meet her today. i told him i have an ass of stuff to do today, so i can't, but that i will meet her sometime in the near future.
ahem.....
it's true. i do have an ass of shit to get done if i want to keep myself on schedule, even remotely around the schedule i've set for myself. but that's not the whole truth.....
actually, i'm nervous to meet her. crazy, huh? i think mostly it has to do with the fact that i never really thought i was terribly good with children. i don't have any brothers or sisters and i was never really around kids besides when i was thier age, which doesn't count. and too, i know that when we do meet, he's gonna be watching me, soaking in my potential. being a step-mom is kinda shocking to my senses. plus, i don't know where exactly this thing is going with him, and i don't want to form attachments to the baby or her to me if it's not gonna work out, y'know? i've seen the instability that causes first hand and several other times in my life via friends. it's never terribly pretty.
or maybe i'm just making too much outa nothing.
no. i'm right.
any advice?
=me
mr. d told me this morning that he was gonna pick up his daughter, age 3, from school today and hang out with her all day until her mama got off work. he asked me if i wanted to meet her today. i told him i have an ass of stuff to do today, so i can't, but that i will meet her sometime in the near future.
ahem.....
it's true. i do have an ass of shit to get done if i want to keep myself on schedule, even remotely around the schedule i've set for myself. but that's not the whole truth.....
actually, i'm nervous to meet her. crazy, huh? i think mostly it has to do with the fact that i never really thought i was terribly good with children. i don't have any brothers or sisters and i was never really around kids besides when i was thier age, which doesn't count. and too, i know that when we do meet, he's gonna be watching me, soaking in my potential. being a step-mom is kinda shocking to my senses. plus, i don't know where exactly this thing is going with him, and i don't want to form attachments to the baby or her to me if it's not gonna work out, y'know? i've seen the instability that causes first hand and several other times in my life via friends. it's never terribly pretty.
or maybe i'm just making too much outa nothing.
no. i'm right.
any advice?
=me
xoxo, Lunna