my nose was broken when i was little. so now i got crazy crookedness goin on. never really liked my nose.
i'm so emotional right now. fuckin A!
ah, the bullshit you have to deal with when yer a girl.
so, i think i may have changed my mind about this whole kristopher thing.
maybe.
i think that the problem isn't necessarily all him. (this is hard for me to admit) i think i just need to gain some distance from him. and if he gets his feelings hurt by my distance, then gravy for me. but the reason i got outa that long assed relationship with john was so that i could learn to make myself shine without using someone else's mirror. i gotta get started on that.
the problem comes when kristopher comes back to town. see, cuz his mirror is at just the right angle so that i get blinded. always have, and maybe always will. but that's my own shit.
but he's gonna wanna cuddle and shit when he comes home. gonna want me to stay with him. i'm not sure if i should. fuck him, sure, but cuddle all nite?
i have to wonder if that's not allowing myself to fall into his game. not only that, but that's one of his favorite parts. so if i deprive him of that, some part of him will feel slighted.
ahem.....the afore mentioned gravy.
then, when he leaves to go back to virginia, i won't call him at all. i will concentrate on me and my rockin' fuckin' christmas present projects i got goin. and of course, staying outa jail.
that is the funniest thing to me that i got arrested. if you only knew me from way back, you'd be amused too.
yeah.
i gotta balance myself before i can be of any real use to anyone else.
but the urge to go back to my self-destructive ways is crazy loud in my head.
eh. we'll see.
i'm so emotional right now. fuckin A!
ah, the bullshit you have to deal with when yer a girl.
so, i think i may have changed my mind about this whole kristopher thing.
maybe.
i think that the problem isn't necessarily all him. (this is hard for me to admit) i think i just need to gain some distance from him. and if he gets his feelings hurt by my distance, then gravy for me. but the reason i got outa that long assed relationship with john was so that i could learn to make myself shine without using someone else's mirror. i gotta get started on that.
the problem comes when kristopher comes back to town. see, cuz his mirror is at just the right angle so that i get blinded. always have, and maybe always will. but that's my own shit.
but he's gonna wanna cuddle and shit when he comes home. gonna want me to stay with him. i'm not sure if i should. fuck him, sure, but cuddle all nite?
i have to wonder if that's not allowing myself to fall into his game. not only that, but that's one of his favorite parts. so if i deprive him of that, some part of him will feel slighted.
ahem.....the afore mentioned gravy.
then, when he leaves to go back to virginia, i won't call him at all. i will concentrate on me and my rockin' fuckin' christmas present projects i got goin. and of course, staying outa jail.
that is the funniest thing to me that i got arrested. if you only knew me from way back, you'd be amused too.
yeah.
i gotta balance myself before i can be of any real use to anyone else.
but the urge to go back to my self-destructive ways is crazy loud in my head.
eh. we'll see.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
I got to see Greyskull, Akrobatics and Aesop Rock... Aesop was super fun. I am blown out tired tho.
I hadn't noticed your nose being all crooked (I don't see it, actually). But, I am into the traumas of life... wouldn't bother me anyway...
Rage is pretty fun but I can't live there - I need to recharge after a few days. Be boring, do chores, pay fucking bills...
peace.