fortysix_and_two

I've been getting stuck in my nightmares recently... I can usually get out of them by sheer force of will. But these last couple nights I end up stuck, and end up sleeping for 12 or more hours. When you have dreams like mine, that's a hell of a lot of pain.

I got a call from my former employers. They want me back on the staff, at least temporarily. Despite my misgivings, I need income. Bad. In about two weeks' time, I'll be out of food. So this could not have come at a better (or worse) time.

Yet, despite everything, that dream I have still comes. In fact, it comes several times a night. For those reading this who don't know, my whole family is psychically gifted... most of my family has episodes of deja vu, but most of my family is Christian, and regards it as either 'the temptation of the Enemy' or 'visions from God'... both of which I'd snort at normally, but explaining the same thing by both descriptions is sheer cosmic comedy. Since I was young, I've known the day of my death. It's later this month.

But one thing I've been able to do, is as I see these things, I can affect their change. I'm not planning to walk meekly to my slaughter. I've already put things into motion to protect myself.

If I pass through August alive, it'll be a whole new future for me... something beyond my dreams.

25 days to zero hour.