*sighs*

I wish I knew how to react to certain things. Imagine your best friend in the world doing their best to avoid talking with you because you disagree with a major choice they've made. Makes you wonder how good the friendship was in the first place. Maybe I was just deluding myself into thinking I was bloody important to someone for once.

Why do I have to fight to get ANYTHING nowadays? Recognition, appreciation, even a feeling of welcome would be nice. But no. I ask too much as always.

Sorry, this isn't meant to be a b*tching session. I went out to the local fetish club called Outland. Had me some violet wand action going. Skin's a little burnt (little red dots from the spur), but GOD was that needed. Now I just wish I had someone to take out the extreme arounsal from that on. Met some cool people at the club, which was good. Getting even more hours at work, which is good. So why am I not happier? I'm really confused.

Began sketch work on my tattoo set. It's looking good so far, just need to practice on faces again... so danged rusty.

Had an open to close shift today (well, yesterday now as it is 3:30am here), went out to the club, going to watch Underworld, go home, and sleep for about two hours before I have to get up and go for another open to close, since we just lost one of our workers. More hours for me.

But I still wish I knew why I wasn't happier.

Hope you all have something that makes you happy.