im starting to question why the fuck im kept on this earth.
here is what happened today:
-found out i have a precancerous lesion in my cervix
-found out i MIGHT be able to have kids with the help of medication some day
-lost my job
-my engagement ring is being sold
-my boyfriend of forever, whom i at one point was getting married to and i split up (me being sick is to much for him right now(
so my question is.
why the FUCK am i still here????/
here is what happened today:
-found out i have a precancerous lesion in my cervix
-found out i MIGHT be able to have kids with the help of medication some day
-lost my job
-my engagement ring is being sold
-my boyfriend of forever, whom i at one point was getting married to and i split up (me being sick is to much for him right now(
so my question is.
why the FUCK am i still here????/
what a day!?
tomorrow can only be better right!?
a.) precancer is not cancer. cancer is beatable. and it sounds like you got to it early enough that you can fight. imagine what life would have been like if this went undetected? you should be thanking your stars...
b.) they didnt say you cant have kids. there are many beautiful children out there who have suffered far worse than you are now who need loving homes whom you could be a mother to.
c.) better to find out now that you and your bf arent right for each other than further along the process (speaking from experience) only time will tell if you two are meant to be with each other...tough times can tear people apart or bring them together... who knows what will happen down the road...but me thinks yoiu need to focus on you tight about now...
d.) get good money for the ring and buy yourself some new music or get yourself a massage or sumthing to treat yourself well... id say you earned it wouldnt you?
dont question why you are here...we all get shitty hands...as spooky wrote in his journal today...sometimes it feels like we just move from disaster to disaster in life... but the trick is finding your peace in there somewhere... dont let it swallow you...
you'll be fine if you fight... you wont if you give in. i believe its that simple. so fight. fight to be happy. to find balance. to live...to laugh...to love...
stay positive. each night before i go to bed (i try to) make a list in my head of things that make me smile... like frost on roofs, laying in the sun on my carpet on a saturday morning with my kitty, blueberries... it works for me...
yeah yeah. enough. chin up.
*were here if you need us*
*im here if you need me*
if you need anyone to talk to, i'm online a lot...my IM name is on my sg page.
by the way...i'm originally from AL...Dothan actually.
and you are so cute!
hope you feel better soon...