So this weekend fell on its arse....
A while back a dear friend and her sisters decided that I had been single too long and my attempts at remedying this were getting nowhere. So between them they decided it was time I met their single friend and go on a date. Bless them all, I am indeed hopeless and this was a welcome intervention. Sadly though the said single friend cancelled as in the six weeks or so between arranging the blind date and now she met someone.
Now nothing ventured works both ways, you can't mourn something you've not gained but you know, it still got to me a little and I'll happily admit saddened me. I work long hours and find it hard to meet new people and the universe decided that this helping hand wasn't to be. A drunk self pitying Saturday night and I file this away as not meant for me.
Sunday comes, time to weild the spanners and work on something I know well, a car, my sisters mini. I understand machines, they are binary, they want to work and if they don't you plug away until they do. It's also why I love being a web monkey, code works the same way, there are rules and solutions and the simplicity is something I understand. Anyway four hours and all I achieved was disassembling more that I had together when I started. I hate not making progress with projects like the mini, it felt like a day wasted.
So tonight has been spent feeling deflated and isolated, confused by that simple desire to want to share this life with someone and the resignation that maybe that's for other people. I promised an old friend once that I'd have more self belief but when it comes to making more progress with machines and code than humans I do struggle to have that self faith. Misery loves company does it... seems a tad ironic when you're depressed and alone!
So that's date night in London on Friday a bust, unless anyone is up for BBQ and rum...