It's been a weird week at work, slow going, fairly mind numbing and pretty solitary and yet I love working at the motley fool. I get to keep my web design skills fresh, my work is beginning to populate the site and the people are cool. One person in particular....
I have a crush on Sara, she's on the projects team and often manages projects I'm assigned to. She's tall, confident, sweet and Canadian. I happen to have a passion for Vancouver, friends there and coincidently Sara's home town. 3 years younger than me and pretty much normal compared to my pierced, tattooed, modded self.
The past few weeks have been great, she's been really inquisitive, asking how old I am, what kind of food I like, about my car, my nephews, friendly enquiring stuff really. She even told me despite the exterior look to the contrary she finds me sweet and kind and very easy to get along with.
What's weird here is that girls like her don't go out with guys like me, well not in my experience. I tend to be filler, go out with me, stabilise your life, find confidence where once it was lost and move on. Not that I am complaining, much. Everything about her is "normal" and she seems stable and a long term kind of girl, everything I want from a girlfriend and yet I feel scared and intimidated and can feel my self-esteem leeching out of my body. Time to hide behind the body mods again? Combine my lack of confidence with several friends that have experienced my car crash love life up close telling me that nothing good can come of an office relationship and you have one confused me.
I finally plucked up the courage to ask her out for lunch last week. Much to my surprise she said yes! When her schedule wasn't so manic "it'd be really nice" (was that girl speak for a brush off?). I suggested she let me know when she fancied it.
Last night it occurred to me that after having my tarot read two months ago that something was panning out...
"In terms of what will come...the cards show great news and hope linked to 2 women. The first is beautiful but stern, probably an Aquarius and who also has a volatile and changeable nature. The second is a Leo, creative, with great organisational skills and who is competitive and likes to win."
Now the Aquarius seems to be one of my close friends I lost touch with, fits the bill perfectly and we've recently got back in touch and have plans to spend time together. Now I don't know when Sara was born but creative, great organisational skills and who is competitive and likes to win describes her perfectly. The confusion deepens.
I'm now wondering what I should do, doubting myself and the ability for a girl like her to like a guy like me etc. All I have planned so far is to "tell her" I'm buying her lunch as a non-birthday celebration of sorts as every year my non-celebrations consist of lunch with a friend. Currently my friends are scattered across the globe, mainly in North America and it seems a perfect way to get to know her. But from there I am stuck.
If anyone reads this I'd appreciate some advice, especially from the fairer sex.
I have a crush on Sara, she's on the projects team and often manages projects I'm assigned to. She's tall, confident, sweet and Canadian. I happen to have a passion for Vancouver, friends there and coincidently Sara's home town. 3 years younger than me and pretty much normal compared to my pierced, tattooed, modded self.
The past few weeks have been great, she's been really inquisitive, asking how old I am, what kind of food I like, about my car, my nephews, friendly enquiring stuff really. She even told me despite the exterior look to the contrary she finds me sweet and kind and very easy to get along with.
What's weird here is that girls like her don't go out with guys like me, well not in my experience. I tend to be filler, go out with me, stabilise your life, find confidence where once it was lost and move on. Not that I am complaining, much. Everything about her is "normal" and she seems stable and a long term kind of girl, everything I want from a girlfriend and yet I feel scared and intimidated and can feel my self-esteem leeching out of my body. Time to hide behind the body mods again? Combine my lack of confidence with several friends that have experienced my car crash love life up close telling me that nothing good can come of an office relationship and you have one confused me.
I finally plucked up the courage to ask her out for lunch last week. Much to my surprise she said yes! When her schedule wasn't so manic "it'd be really nice" (was that girl speak for a brush off?). I suggested she let me know when she fancied it.
Last night it occurred to me that after having my tarot read two months ago that something was panning out...
"In terms of what will come...the cards show great news and hope linked to 2 women. The first is beautiful but stern, probably an Aquarius and who also has a volatile and changeable nature. The second is a Leo, creative, with great organisational skills and who is competitive and likes to win."
Now the Aquarius seems to be one of my close friends I lost touch with, fits the bill perfectly and we've recently got back in touch and have plans to spend time together. Now I don't know when Sara was born but creative, great organisational skills and who is competitive and likes to win describes her perfectly. The confusion deepens.
I'm now wondering what I should do, doubting myself and the ability for a girl like her to like a guy like me etc. All I have planned so far is to "tell her" I'm buying her lunch as a non-birthday celebration of sorts as every year my non-celebrations consist of lunch with a friend. Currently my friends are scattered across the globe, mainly in North America and it seems a perfect way to get to know her. But from there I am stuck.
If anyone reads this I'd appreciate some advice, especially from the fairer sex.