flyonwall

*grumble*stomp*rage*rage*grumble*rage*rage*rant*rage*

my sewing machine seems to be *not* working..

this is not good.

the pants i was working on are the pants i was hoping to wear tomorrow night..

i need someone near me with a digi camera or something.. grr.. i want decent, non fuzzy webcam/non horribly cropped self digi cam pictures..

i hate work but.. that's just par for the course with people.....
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go team steveo!

i was/am being productive tonight.. (if you ignore all the little procrastionbreaks.. curse you computator!! curse you!!)

so far.. i finally fixed my shoes.. having soaking wet feet at work all afternoon was the reminder i needed to do it when i got home.. (the soles of my shoes were just like.. falling out the bottom is the only way i can...
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where does the line exist between self-need and selfish?

i feel like i really need to have a talk with someone.. but.
that would be breaking with my new system.. which i don't think is working out as planned.. but also..

it would take away that impartial person she has to confide in.. and.. it seems there are few of those left for her..

*le...
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i should be in a better mood.. but the phone monkey farm is crushing my spirits harder than usual lately..

next weekend. (nov 27th-ish) will be a great weekend.. going to toronto.. seeing people i haven't seen in.. a year?

and then sunday dj-ing again.. which was so much fun last time..

and.. i plan on trying to find some cheap-ish cd's.. and perhaps vinyl...
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ahh cybernaut at dissent.. my one true and always faithful love..

don't ever change.

even if you're going to kill my body tomorrow.. i'm already sore..

but.. where else can you wear bondage pants and a fishnet shirt and not hear a single disparaging remark..

but.. i'm going to go die now.. my knees already hurt.. but.. after this week.. so worth it..

"You see, life is like that. We change, that's all. You see, the guy I am now is not the guy I was then. . . . . .And those are the facts. "

it seems trite and cliched and pretensions to quote that movie but.. it's still true.. I find myself watching it less often now.. but.. each time I do.. I think back...
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well.. today was a better day..

my car was sick.. but only $300 sick so.. that was good.. i guess? but.. that's another paycheck that's gone as soon as i've got it.. (between that and what i normally spend during a two week period.. back to where i was yesterday)

and i just noticed i got paid a day early.. which is odd since tomorrow...
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so torn and conflicted and confused and just plain miserable tonight.



someone keeps popping into my head in ways i thought i was finally over again..

someone else now seems available.. but.. as of the last week or so.. i've seriously questioned if i thought they were right or not.. and.. it seems more not.. and now.. just.. i don't know what to do or...
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part of my on going musical quest is complete..

i know own Scary Valentine - Gorgon

it's like sex, encoded to CD in audio format. . .

*melts * now.. to find Shades... if only. . .

but.. eeeeee!!!!!! scary valentine is now mine..

**edit** oh.. look at that.. heatha was right.. not that there was ever any doubt.. thanks! :o)

Woo! First picture set uploaded..

Sorry to disappoint everyone but.. they're just the same old pictures I put up everywhere of some of the clothing I've made..

Someday when I finish a few more pieces, I need someone else to take pictures for me.. the webcam or the digicam on a tripod just doesn't cut it for me..

and.. damn you heatha! and.. damn you...
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Illusions are the salve for our soul.