flyonwall

so.. called in sick to work today..

my stomach has progressively felt worse since about wednesday so.. i'm hoping a real day of rest will make me feel better..

thursday i did stuff.. i forget what but i remember being gone for a large chunk of the afternoon.. then dj'd.. so that was a long night..

friday.. finally fell asleep after 6am.. my alarm went...
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so.. i've started listening to the cure quite alot again..

and while their music is great.. it's not such a great thing when i get stuck in a mood where they're all i want to listen to..

birthday weekend plans have already fallen through before they really even got started.. people i wanted to spend it with won't be around at all..

tra la la..

the ongoing saga goes on...

looking forward to thursday nights..

myself, another dj i used to spin with on fridays until we were amalgamated into every other week on saturdays and another friend that used to dj in toronto and has done so occasionally here in town are taking over dissent on thursday nights..

IFTN... metal.. industrial.. loud..

i'm really just happy i have a weekly night again.. even if...
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you know.. i'm anything but religous.. (organized religion is just another cult to me..a cult with better PR)


but.. i really pray i'm making the right decision..

*would twitch with being nervous if he wasn't so drunk)
i don't want to get up in 6 and some odd hours..

stupid favours for the bar i work at and stupid work in general

saturday was a better night.. i was just *on* with sets and managed to keep a few people on the floor my entire set..

despite more unpleasantness.. forced myself to try and be in a good mood.. and it sort of worked..

ever since though i've been driving myself crazy.. i will stop obsessing about a choice that really isn't mine..

i'll probably ramble about...
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have you ever had one of those nights where all you wanted at the end of it was to curl up into a ball in die?

so.. i kind of have a date with *girl*..

i think? (and hope).

but.. if it is.. how morbid are we? a date to go look at dead people in plastic.. (she hasn't seen bodyworlds at all yet and i was very very sleep deprived and kept getting annoyed/distracted by everyone else in the exhibit the first time i went)

and i say wee?

so.. it would seem the annual birthday depression is starting extra early this year..




i think a little part of me is just secretly hoping i'm preparing for the worst so when it doesn't happen.. it'll be even better.. sadly.. the rest of me is laughing at that little voice like the village idiot it normally turns out to be

this year again.. going to...
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so.. communication mix ups meant *girl* couldn't make it on friday..

i consoled myself with too many brownies and such.. and then later thought i was going to die when they really started to kick in.. missed going out for new years but.. being blah aside.. after friday night's mix up.. i really wasn't in a mood to go and be around people..

i guess...
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i have a floor in my bedroom again.. i knew it was around here somewhere... i also remember again how many horrible CD's i own.. (since most of my good ones are in my dj binders.. i never really see them out on display like the racks of rejects behind me right now..)

getting excited for tomorrow as really hoping *girl* will be able to...
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