flygirl

Massage is a really good thing. I think the thing I like the most about giving massage is how good it makes the person Im giving it to feel. The question I would have to ask myself is, why do I care so much about making people feel good? Somtimes I think I should be more concerned about making myself feel good. I guess I have always been one to give of myself. It really does feel good to me when I can make people smile or feel loved or feel content. I guess I have had my turn when it came to selfishness. When I was in my 20s I swore the center of the universe was my belly button. Eveything I did was self motivated. I guess on some level Chad was included in that selfishness. When I thought I was in love with him years ago Im not sure if it was because he was the hottest guy in my circle of friends or because he was the baddest guitar player I knew at the time. Im not sure i knew the man that he really was. It was probably a bit of that and a lot of sexual attraction. Today i know i love him for the person that he is. I dont have the desire to be with him like I used to and that is probably for my own good. Although I am sure if he utter the words I love you and need you I would drop all that I have going on with the other guy and give Chad my heart. Hows that for foolish. There is just somthing about that man that makes me want to give him happiness and love and sexual bliss. He hasnt an idea of his power. The chances of him ever saying that are quit slim so I need not concern myself with what i would do. Its like saying if I won the lottery i would yada yada yada....chances are good I wont be winning the lottery.
I went to Chads last night and I gave him a decent massage. I think I could have done better but I left my cheat sheet at home and missed a few really superior strokes. Im not sure he noticed the difference. I love working on his body. Its long and lean and works as a great learning tool. I can feel the definition in muscles and it helps me feel what I am doing better then some of the people I work on. I did however break my rule about no happy endings. It wasnt my fault though. After I was done with the massage and he was still on the table. I leaned over and kissed him on his sacrum. Then did a little more work on his hands and couldnt stop myself from kissing on his finger tips and sliding my toung along his fingers. I looked up and saw his amazing cock was getting hard under the flannel sheet. Then it was all over. When ever his cock is hard in my presence my mouth craves his cum. So I worked it out and my mouth got what it wanted and he tastes soooooooo fucking good. I get a little horney thinking about the taste of his cum. That kind of makes me wonder a little if I should consider marrying someone else. I know the reality of my life and is that Chad isnt here for me. But is it fair to marry someone else whe you are fantisizing about having your "friend" cumming on you or in you. Who knows.....

I do know I have to work out now. I have the afternoon to my self so I am off to do good things for my self.