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fluffy17

bfe, illinois

Member Since 2004

Followers 4 Following 4

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Thursday May 20, 2004

May 20, 2004
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Lately, I've been hit by this huge wave of self-doubt. And insomnia. I've slept about 6 hours in 2 days. Maybe the whole "Dude, you got laid off" hammer is starting to drop on my head. I act like I'm on vacation, but the fact is I'm unemployed. To much self-worth tied up in my job. Not enough tried up in the fact that I'm a cool, intelligent, kind person.... And maybe not as modest as I should be smile

Todays goal: No Smoking, No Caffeine, get out of the house. Make at least one attempt to really talk to someone new (not at a bar). Climb. Start my coding project. Don't drink.
Dream that one day, hot monkey sex makes that list wink
===================
Kool Keith. He's so perverse. And the beats are great smile Pornocore

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Feeling better today. Haven't smoked yet. gonna go climb soon. Might hit service at zen center, might not. Maybe I'll just sleep...
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Still no smoking. Yay. And I just bouldered for a little while at the gym. Really tired, can hardly breath, but generally ok. I'm feeling much better, much less panicy than yesterday....

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sg needs a better i-face to edit journals....

sick, tired. Eating too much diner food (mmmm, burgers) Many women to date, but not right now...

Hoping do go to Yosemite tu-th.

blah. Night gang
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
trixel:
...and I ask myself the same thing daily. robot

Off to eat crappy Prairie sushi, pulled fresh from the oceans of wheat! surreal
May 20, 2004
ginacherry:
YOu sound liek you feel all over the place....this is not meant to discourage you..but isnt trying to quit smoking like SUPER DUPER hard? Sounds like you need to be good to yourself right now....so fuck it..have a cheeseburger....smoke a little...you gotta take care of your mental state first...don't be so hard on yourself ..smile PEACE
May 20, 2004

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