whoa nelly. confused.
so i've been getting really close to this wonderful woman. But then i get a very weird almost "WARNING!!!!" IM conversation. I really love the girl and want to have a serious relationship with but don't want to also just be the "enabler" for certain habits...
so this is what the thing looked like:
unkigurl7: hey. um. let's talk.
ourstringuy: okay
unkigurl7: so what's up with you. you like jill a lot, right?
ourstringuy: yeah why?
unkigurl7: okay. here's the thing. she likes spending time with you, and you're the kind of person that she could potentially see herself with....in the future.
ourstringuy: and...
unkigurl7: but right now, she needs her space. BIG TIME.
ourstringuy: i figured that... she has been through a lot
unkigurl7: like....she is just getting out of a very trying emotional relationship where she was abused on multiple levels....and she needs to work things out for herself right now.
unkigurl7: she can't have the type of emotional connectedness that she is sensing from you right now.
ourstringuy: you know, that's exactly what i was thinking, but she was pushing the connectedness
unkigurl7: and especially with the work thing. she at the moment feels very unestablished in the job situation as it is, and this is of no offense to you, but she is very interested in immersing herself into the job as much as possible without any potential distractions...
unkigurl7: i see...i don't mean to hurt your feelings by saying these things. but i felt as though it was somewhat in my place to clarify.
unkigurl7: and perhaps it's not.
ourstringuy: no, i appreciate it
unkigurl7: okay. because she enjoys your company, on a periodic basis.
ourstringuy: hmmm
unkigurl7: and she likes meeting new people, and she likes doing new things. she also needs a lot of time for herself.
ourstringuy: alright
unkigurl7: . you have good intentions.
ourstringuy: thx
unkigurl7: and she is aware of that. but she's not ready for them.
ourstringuy: it's just weird then... it just seems like there is more to it... confused
unkigurl7: there is more to it....she's a passionate emotional person who throws herself into anything that has anything to do with matters of love and the heart. and i yell at her all the time about doing that, but it's just the type of person she is.
unkigurl7: she needs time to adjust.
unkigurl7: she's at a different point of life than you, or even i, are at. she's transitioning into "the real world", and she is becoming independent.
unkigurl7: for like, the first time in her life.
ourstringuy: oh
ourstringuy: making some sense now
unkigurl7: yeah...and i'm sure that there was some element of "more than just friends" on her part too, and i warned her early on that she didn't need to get involved....just yet.
unkigurl7: because i know you're a good person, just from working with you...and i told her that i think that you would be a good candidate for a possible relationship....but it's not the right time.
ourstringuy: understood
unkigurl7: okay good. i think that she genuinely does enjoy your company, so she was afraid of saying any of this to you for fear that it woud translate to "i don't want to chill anymore"....because that's not it at all.
unkigurl7: she just can't have it on the level that it is currently at.
ourstringuy: hmm...
ourstringuy: well... thanks.
ourstringuy: :-\
unkigurl7: you're welcome. don't be discouraged.
ourstringuy: eh, a little
unkigurl7: understandable....
ourstringuy: well, goodnight
unkigurl7: goodnight. take care.
so i've been getting really close to this wonderful woman. But then i get a very weird almost "WARNING!!!!" IM conversation. I really love the girl and want to have a serious relationship with but don't want to also just be the "enabler" for certain habits...
so this is what the thing looked like:
unkigurl7: hey. um. let's talk.
ourstringuy: okay
unkigurl7: so what's up with you. you like jill a lot, right?
ourstringuy: yeah why?
unkigurl7: okay. here's the thing. she likes spending time with you, and you're the kind of person that she could potentially see herself with....in the future.
ourstringuy: and...
unkigurl7: but right now, she needs her space. BIG TIME.
ourstringuy: i figured that... she has been through a lot
unkigurl7: like....she is just getting out of a very trying emotional relationship where she was abused on multiple levels....and she needs to work things out for herself right now.
unkigurl7: she can't have the type of emotional connectedness that she is sensing from you right now.
ourstringuy: you know, that's exactly what i was thinking, but she was pushing the connectedness
unkigurl7: and especially with the work thing. she at the moment feels very unestablished in the job situation as it is, and this is of no offense to you, but she is very interested in immersing herself into the job as much as possible without any potential distractions...
unkigurl7: i see...i don't mean to hurt your feelings by saying these things. but i felt as though it was somewhat in my place to clarify.
unkigurl7: and perhaps it's not.
ourstringuy: no, i appreciate it
unkigurl7: okay. because she enjoys your company, on a periodic basis.
ourstringuy: hmmm
unkigurl7: and she likes meeting new people, and she likes doing new things. she also needs a lot of time for herself.
ourstringuy: alright
unkigurl7: . you have good intentions.
ourstringuy: thx
unkigurl7: and she is aware of that. but she's not ready for them.
ourstringuy: it's just weird then... it just seems like there is more to it... confused
unkigurl7: there is more to it....she's a passionate emotional person who throws herself into anything that has anything to do with matters of love and the heart. and i yell at her all the time about doing that, but it's just the type of person she is.
unkigurl7: she needs time to adjust.
unkigurl7: she's at a different point of life than you, or even i, are at. she's transitioning into "the real world", and she is becoming independent.
unkigurl7: for like, the first time in her life.
ourstringuy: oh
ourstringuy: making some sense now
unkigurl7: yeah...and i'm sure that there was some element of "more than just friends" on her part too, and i warned her early on that she didn't need to get involved....just yet.
unkigurl7: because i know you're a good person, just from working with you...and i told her that i think that you would be a good candidate for a possible relationship....but it's not the right time.
ourstringuy: understood
unkigurl7: okay good. i think that she genuinely does enjoy your company, so she was afraid of saying any of this to you for fear that it woud translate to "i don't want to chill anymore"....because that's not it at all.
unkigurl7: she just can't have it on the level that it is currently at.
ourstringuy: hmm...
ourstringuy: well... thanks.
ourstringuy: :-\
unkigurl7: you're welcome. don't be discouraged.
ourstringuy: eh, a little
unkigurl7: understandable....
ourstringuy: well, goodnight
unkigurl7: goodnight. take care.
niobe:
*hugs*
*hugs*