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fleurdeguerre

United Kingdom

Member Since 2004

Followers 77 Following 88

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Wednesday Oct 06, 2004

Oct 5, 2004
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October 6th 1998 is a day I'll always remember. One of my friends rang me up in the evening, after a normal day at college, to tell me one of my friends had killed himself.
Alex was my first friend at college, or my first real friend. I started there a few weeks after the start of term because I wasn't happy in the 6th form of my school. The only people I knew were the kids that I worked with at my local supermarket, and I didn't actually have anything in common with any of them. There was a group of metal kids always hanging about, that I always wanted to talk to, but I was always too shy. A short while later, I was waiting outside the Astoria, for my best friend from school's brother. to pick up my ticket to Fear Factory. He was really late and I started to worry because I was on my own. Then I noticed the metal kids from college standing in the queue. One of the kids, who I found out was called Alex, called out to me, and askedif I was at the college, what I was up to and stuff. Turned out they had a spare ticket and I went in with them, and had the time of my life, lost my hat, crowd surfed, everything. I never saw my friend's brother, but I didn't care. I became part of the group and I hung out with Alex at his house a lot. We made mixtapes, his sister's friend dreaded my hair just after New Years 1998. As the year went on, inevitably we didn't stay so close as I branched out in the grup and hung out with the others more. He used to go to Slimelight every week, I never was into all the cyber goth stuff. Eventually it came around to his birthday, I never made his party. Only a short time later, the call came. I've never felt such grief, regret and sorrow about how I let us drift apart, and how I never even had one last good time to remember. I kind of sank into a deep depression for a while, which took me a while to crawl out of. But I'm OK now, though I still remember him in my thoughts, and wonder how he might have turned out.
His funeral, was both full of happiness and sadness. We all wore as bright colours as we could, and a lot of cyber kids from Slimelight were there, scaring the parents. The church was bursting, I couldn't even get a seat. Someone made the best flower arrangement I've ever seen, Alex was famed for his luminous yellow hair and Swear boots, which were'nt that common then, at least not in our little college world, and someone donated an old pair of DM boots and put bright yellow flowers in them. Alex was buried in his favourite gear, with his boots, and his double tongue studs in his pocket. I threw a handful of tiny luminous yellow stars in the grave. I hope he's still rocking out to Metallica and Skinny Puppy somewhere out there.

Alex Kubik 1981-1998 RIP.





One of the only pictures I have of him is at Reading 1998 with 2 bottles of Liquid gold stuck up his nose. It makes me think of him and smile whenever I see it. Ewww poppers *shudder*

Hope y'all are good today.
kiss
VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
the_reverend:
hi Fleur.

you're the third person in 3 weeks that i know of who's discussed how they've had close, young friend pass away unexpectedly... my friend zig and i both had friends pass on in the last fortnight... not good!

it's not fun, as i'm sure you can understand, but i'm glad you and his other friends made the best of the funeral... it sounds like he would have approved.

incidentally, WHICH fear factory show at the astoria? depending on which tour it was, i might have been there! lol small world.


hope you're okay. i'm sure you have lots of friends to give you hugs... but i'm sure all of us here send you one too, via the magic of teh interwebnet. memories can be painful... but sometimes, they can bring joy. my friend andy, i always remember him determinedly (sp?) skateboarding UP our high street... or Abi, the day she 'explosively' walked out of her record company job... good times. i miss them. but i know they're with me in spirit.

keep it funky,
catch ya later,
x ARRR!!! x



[Edited on Oct 07, 2004 12:53AM]

[Edited on Oct 07, 2004 12:57AM]
Oct 6, 2004
direchocobo:
I hope you are ok dear. frown Sorry to hear about that.
Oct 7, 2004

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