Fuck 
Obviously there is a god, and he hates me.
Obviously there is a god, and he hates me. VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
Hey, it's World Zombie day isn't it? The day when Christians celebrate the dead hippies rising from the grave and eat the brains of heathens like me. That's how it goes, right?
The car's here. It's like driving a V8 go-cart. Pictures will be coming soon.
The car's here. It's like driving a V8 go-cart. Pictures will be coming soon.
The car's here! Man that thing is a bitch to drive! I can't wait for the rain to stop so I can get used to it.
And I can't even be mad at the trucker. I met him and found out that I like him.
And I can't even be mad at the trucker. I met him and found out that I like him.
guitargeek:
UPDATE! We want the scoop on this thing!
holliday:
Don't you hate when that happens? When you're all ready to hate on somebody and then you find out that they're actually really cool and that you like them? I always feel like a big jerk...but I'd prefer to be proven wrong than go ahead and hate on someone.
arrrgggh! The stinking truck driver is supposed to have the car here by 4pm at the latest and I have to levae for an off duty job at 4:30. He called me at 3:45 to tell me he's still north of Waco. 
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coops:
What was he thinking?
flatblack:
I'm calm now. I'm going to kill the trucker very calmly. I'm going to chop him up in little pieces very calmly. Then I'm going to calmly feed the pieces to the fish in the lake by my house. Feeding fish is very soothing.
The trucker told me to call him when I got done with my job and we'd work something out. So, I finished my off duty job and called the trucker. HE'S STILL IN WACO!
Oh well. He's supposed to be on his way now.
The trucker told me to call him when I got done with my job and we'd work something out. So, I finished my off duty job and called the trucker. HE'S STILL IN WACO!
Oh well. He's supposed to be on his way now.
The car will be here in 11 to 15 hours!
ponette:
wait! what car? I missed something
coops:
You're not counting down by the second yet?....
What's wrong with you???!!!
Kiddin.
Have fun palying with your new toy!!
What's wrong with you???!!!
Kiddin.
Have fun palying with your new toy!!
Today's cop story isn't nearly as funny as yesterday's.
I went to a bad two vehicle collision in the hill country west of Austin. Three people in one car. One person in a little truck. All four pinned in. They guy in the truck is hurt and only semiconscious but seems to be doing OK. I get to the car. Mom and dad in the...
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I went to a bad two vehicle collision in the hill country west of Austin. Three people in one car. One person in a little truck. All four pinned in. They guy in the truck is hurt and only semiconscious but seems to be doing OK. I get to the car. Mom and dad in the...
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do11face:
sooo, scary...I'm so terrified of being in a serious car accident.
your a noble man...that has to be hard.
glad the girl is ok.
and your story was riviting...
your a noble man...that has to be hard.
glad the girl is ok.
and your story was riviting...
guitargeek:
I'll do everything in my power to make it out to the Roundup because I want to shake your hand and maybe buy you a beer. My job is dirty & noisy and blue collar as hell, but I don't have any shit like that to deal with...
So here's my cop story of the day:
I'm on my way home when a collision gets dispatched that's on my way. I put myself en rout and arrive about 2 min later. When I get there, there is a little guy laying on the side of the road all tied up with rope. Next to him is a cowboy and a girl standing there....
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I'm on my way home when a collision gets dispatched that's on my way. I put myself en rout and arrive about 2 min later. When I get there, there is a little guy laying on the side of the road all tied up with rope. Next to him is a cowboy and a girl standing there....
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
coops:
You bought it???!!! That's awesome!
When will you get it?
That is the funniest thing that I have heard in a while...
Only in Texas.
When will you get it?
That is the funniest thing that I have heard in a while...
Only in Texas.
holliday:
You're right...that wasn't at ALL how I would have imagined a 'bondage' story coming about!!!
LOL!
LOL!
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
coops:
Thats awesome!!!
redmess:
awesome!
thanks for the b-day greeting, stranger. hope to see you very soon!
thanks for the b-day greeting, stranger. hope to see you very soon!
Damn it. Damn it. Damn it.
Roller derby was tonight and I missed it. Why didn't any of you e mail me and remind me? Doesn't anyone out there love me?
Oh well, I spent the evening lining up a purchase that will make you all envy and want me, but you can't have me. That will teach you.
Roller derby was tonight and I missed it. Why didn't any of you e mail me and remind me? Doesn't anyone out there love me?
Oh well, I spent the evening lining up a purchase that will make you all envy and want me, but you can't have me. That will teach you.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
amanda:
OOOOHHHHH what did you get you have to tell me
you have to tell me
proaggression:
*blushes*... oh shucks... thanks!!
Too funny.
I have this ex I'm friends with and still talk to all the time...for some reason I'm friends with almost everyone I've ever dated. Any way, she's had all kinds of problems recently and had been depressed. Because of this I'd made a specific effort to be extra nice and given her more attention to try to cheer her up.
She called me...
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I have this ex I'm friends with and still talk to all the time...for some reason I'm friends with almost everyone I've ever dated. Any way, she's had all kinds of problems recently and had been depressed. Because of this I'd made a specific effort to be extra nice and given her more attention to try to cheer her up.
She called me...
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willxbtelevised:
that's a really tough situation to be in. wow. i think i've probably been on both ends of that really tough situation and neither time handled it very well.
it's a good think you have a sense of humor about it, and a clear head.
it's a good think you have a sense of humor about it, and a clear head.
coops:
Uhhh....thats crazy.
My days off are finally here! With the exception of 7 hours of off duty work (to pay for the new rat rod) watching TV trailers at some PGA golf thing here, I don't have to be back to work until Monday afternoon.
I can't stand working with my district partner. For those who aren't familiar with how it works, we don't ride in the...
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I can't stand working with my district partner. For those who aren't familiar with how it works, we don't ride in the...
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holliday:
I need my alone time too...
I so rarely invite people over to hang out because I hate having them in my space when I'm trying to relax.
Sometimes I can't even stand to have my cats crawling all over me trying to cuddle!
I'm just a heartless bitch I guess!
I so rarely invite people over to hang out because I hate having them in my space when I'm trying to relax.
Sometimes I can't even stand to have my cats crawling all over me trying to cuddle!
I'm just a heartless bitch I guess!
I wish I had small hands. That way, when I masturbated, I'd look huge.
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holliday:
Y'know...I kinda like the pick up better anyway. I know I can see you tooling around in that roadster...but I have a thing for the model-A pick ups...I can't help myself! 
coops:
Anyone who tried to pinch your ass prob thought that they would be in for a severe ass beating.
...I would have pinched you....if that makes you feel any better.
...I would have pinched you....if that makes you feel any better.
!!!