been thinking about how i fall in love. -why i find some people attractive and others not. even though on the surface they seem a lot alike.

well anyway...

i fall fast, but not often. hm.

i remember telling alex that i loved him. and feeling weird. it was the first time i loved someone romantically. and it was soon. a few months -of which we had only been in the same country for a total of a months time. eventually he told me he loved me too. i think i just knew what our potential was before he did.

the other two times. fast as well. and i'm not even sure what i'm seeing in them. -its some kind of intuition that doesn't seem to really fail me. the other two i had known for a year each... and then i caught a whiff of something that perked my brows. and i went for it. and wow. just wow.

they were both really amazing individuals.

what the hell was my point? that my intuition leads me to the best people? odd coming from someone who generally looks down on something so so fluffy as "intuition".

damn it. i'm a scientist. a reductionist.

meh. i think i'm still bitter over losing what i maybe, sorta, kinda, almost prolly never really had. romanticizing it...

still, it was wonderful when it was. kissing them was simply euphoric. they were both so very very hot. you'd probably not realize it when you met them in person... but wow.

i still love them. i think that for me, that's a good way to sort infatuation from love. when i feel like the emotional attachment i have for that person is permenant. that's love.

who do i love? i think in total: my male, my sis, my parents in law, the above mentioned her and him - and oh, one of my platonic friends (that's you M.M). - think that's it. i wonder if that's two few?

that's all i can honestly claim though.