flamingkittens

Im really over shit today... Im over friends and other people treating me like shit. This is like 90% of the friends I have around here.. More like 98%. Im over being used and neglected and lied to. I promised myself months and months ago I would stop taking so much of peoples shit, and I havent. Im just as compliant and relaxed and walked-overable as I always have been. I cant stand it. I hate how I let myself get stepped on by people when they show me the littlest bit of attention. When you get attention as little as I do (no matter what kind of attention it is) you revel in it and do anything to keep getting that attention.

From that stems my problems with relationships. I put my whole heart into everything I do, whether it is relationships, work, friendships, etc. I have met very few other people who are like that, and I dk. Maybe Im not meant to have a lot of friends, because almost NONE of my friends are wholeheartedly into their friendships. I find myself getting back-stabbed and betrayed by almost everyone. And Im over it..

Im tired of making plans with people and they break at the last minute. I am tired of it. If you wanna be in my life, dont lie to me. Be upfront about everything. Honesty really is the best policy. I would rather you tell the truth to me and hurt me than lie and have me find out later.


Edit to add- I hate most of the men in my life. Thank god for the few (Brian) who keep me semi-sane and from killing all of them... Specifically I hate my brother, another person who uses me. Im not your built in babysitter! goddang.