fixate

Sometimes you see all the things that were expected of you, and all the people expecting them, and know that it can't happen.

With the tide rushing in, I am left with all the decisions and impossibilities.

"Get busy living, or get busy dying."

That's how it's supposed to be, isn't it? Run the track, breathe like they say, or get the fuck onto your own little death, and maybe someone will manage to leave you some trinknet shrine or even a vague memory.

I know I can't be what you want me to be, and I wish I could, because you mean everything to me. Apologies and tears mean so little now. Six years of battle, and the fight is over but nobody ever remembered to figure out who won.

You did. I love you, but you can never know me in the way that others have.

You reject me, so I reject myself.

You kill me, so I kill myself.