0
i'm ok now...
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
dia:
Oh! I started to read Justine last night, aloud no less. Well written.

I don't find death sexy, but I definately have some weird notions of sexy.... ones that scare me too.
fith:
i agree.
0
one of many?
one, but not the one?
just...another...one...?
i know it's not me...it can't be.
i hate when i think that everything about a situation applys to me, but in reality it doesn't.
so confused....so confused....
as if my mind could stop obessesing...in the clinical sense of the word.
as if i wasn't stuck enough as is...
but now, to wonder, is it me?...
Read More
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
fith:
WANT?
i want a lack of reason.
i want to lose all cognizance.

i want to be an insect.
live a life in a day, instead of a life every day.
i'm tired of being an analog robot operating on chaos theory or whatever...
analog simulating digital....
can't wait till we find their the same thing...
STUPID LOS ALAMOS!
i want a predefined method for each situation and set of circumstances.
i hate my freedom.
i hate it.
ape shall not kill ape...
god damnit, you have no idea the shit i deal with.....if only it had anything to do with you...
maybe you're the trigger...
but all revolutions have preconditions and precipitants.
the french revolution was triggered by the storming of the bastille...
that let out the marquis...but he lived in fear all through the terror.
the reign of terror...is that where i am?
is that what this is?
behead the damn demons. fucking kill them...
too bad their necks are stronger than steal.
fith:
i hate that you can't edit these...
0
today i'm at bumbershoot...but i'm all alone, just wandering by myself listening to and staring at art.

this is likely a risky thing to do...but if anyone out there should get the urge, they should call me at (edit:i dont need my phone number on the internet).
yeah...
umm...yeah...

ok.
esspecially cute girls...they should call esspecially.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
fith:
bumbershoot was good today...i wish i'd had a friend there, aside from all the people i saw there that i knew...none of whom i really wanted to see, 'cause if i did i would have just gone to it with them.
anyways, i was by myself, because all my friends who could afford to go were at work, and all my friends who don't work couldn't afford to go...'cause they don't work.
i sort of work...thats why i got to go, i guess...

blackalicious was great.
i got to shake the Gift of Gab's hand after the show too...not really that exciting, but still neat.
good show.

i danced even though i was alone, i tried to dance with this girl...but couldn't...i'm too shy.
i gotta stop that...being shy...
fith:
i feel like getting shitty...i haven't in a while.
tomorrow night...after more (but not alone) bumbershoot....fuck it, i've been stinko every other year, i'll just try and get drunk there.

uhg...my head hurts again...i dont like it.
i thought it was done, i thought i was better....its not working anymore, its worse than before and i can't take it....
0
come on feet.
*piddle piddle piddle piddle piddle*

come on feet.
cruise for me...

trouble ain't no place to be.


come on feet.
do your thing.

come on legs.
come on run.
he'll do what he say you done.

come on knees,
don't be mean:
'cause that ain't the first red you've ever seen.

come on legs
cruise for me.

*piddle piddle piddle piddle piddle*

0
it does an excellent job.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
fith:
rats.....my train of thought switched tracks midway through.

allow me to correct that last paragraph there...

my only fear now being that, as of late, I have been in a bit of a fantasy world, as many of the things which have been happening to me have been, in the past, quite rare. Far too uncommon events have been far too common.
so...am I enlightened? or skewed?
cellophane:
yo, next time you're on the ave there's a good bubble tea place just north of 50th. can't remember the name. there's another one on 45th, but i've never been there.
0
thinking back on my trip to disneyland, i recall long lines and costly tickets that were quite easily worth it. A childhood fetish always makes Alice's Adventues in Wonderland my favorite ride, but i'm young, and it scared me a bit...but i kept my eyes open as much as i could.
The roller coasters there are the kind with only ups, downs, and unexpected turns,...
Read More
fith:
pawn?...no...too much connotation...
rook? no...i'm not that strong.
a knight? maybe...but more useless...far less capable of check mating...something that could never win.
0
i'm glad no one reads this.

it's morning.

i'm going to the beach to eat breakfast and climb trees.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
fith:
and yeah, i spent some time with her in portland, great fun.
and i'd totally eat at your restaraunt if i was ever close enough...
dia:
read read read read read ;P

wait, where did you go???

oh my god.

0
*beaming*
jesus, i'm lost. i want to move.
fith:
i hope i can sleep tonight...why can't i feel like i act? i thought i did...rats.
0
Darnell says "hi" to everyone, believe it or not I saw him on the way to the train station.
weird...
For those who don't know, there aren't many who do, although there is a good chance that the only people that will read this do, Darnell is an aging semi-homeless alcoholic whom I encountered on an excursion to Portland three days ago. I shared a...
Read More
fith:
It's also funny becuase Darnell wasn't the only wise person I heard that from.
fith:
like, when i was down there...fuck...
0
I AM SO SCARED AND NERVOUS AND EXCITED AND SCARED AND NERVOUS BUT EXCITED BUT ALSO SCARED AND BUTTERFLYS ARE EATING AWAY AT ME LIKE SO MANY ULSERS! their fluttering alone an endurance based torture, i shall not even delve in to the waiting, waiting for waiting.
wait till tonight to wait till morning to wait for the train to wait to get there to...
Read More
fith:
i've never wanted to run in and run away, both at the same time, so baddly, in all my life.
0
.....
dia:
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't know what to say but that. That and I'm a 93 year old Laotian man who is a member of NAMBLA AND the NRA... so I guess you should be afraid.

*cackle*
*kidding*
*I'm just a dumb girl and nice and stuff, ask... Marla!*
Boo, 5 hours till driving
dia:
don't think I didn't see that, cutie. I did!!!