fisticuffs

*twitch*
Last night
was hard.
Why did I do it
My form of
Self destruction.
My questions.

*twitch*

I met Her once before
She did not seem to
Like me at all.
In a splice of time
I used to be happy
for Him and Her
together.

I read Her log.
I'm sorry

*twitch*

Pondering hurts.
Sometimes
I think I could be capable
of murder.
When my blood runs cold
and my veins are shred
with emotion,
I think I could.
I could.

*twitch*

But I'm not angry
And I'm not upset.
I did not cry
But the pondering
the wandering
has broken me.

Do i measure up
Did His touch translate
the same way
Are Her and I the same person
over and over
Meaningful but gone

*twitch*

And the pictures
Does He seem happier
Is His smile something
that only I can see.

Why do I need
this affirmation
of how I make Him feel
If I make Him happy.

I don't want to be Her

*twitch*

I'm sorry.