fistfuck

School semester is now nearing the end and im beginning to get nervous about what the next year entails. In a mere week i will be considered a senior and in after two semesters i will have my bachelors. Hysteria is starting to set in and i realize i would rather hide out in school for the rest of my life then hack it in the real world. Im afraid to try and find a job... im afraid i wont find one... im afraid i wont know something i need to know. im just afraid. I wont find a good paying job here and i dont want to be here anyway. My oldest daughter will enter kindergarten the august after i graduate and my plan is to be somewhere else so that she never has to start school here. I want to move to NYC. Thats my goal. The only question is can i actually find a job up there while i live down here?? Can i acually find a job when i am only just buttsmack out of graduation? I know there are a buttload of jobs up there.... and not so much down here... but what do i do? Kris told me to choose from either cali or ny to move to after school... since those are both good markets for his band. i dont see myself as a cali kind of girl... ive been to ny and i love it so i shooting for there.

his band is talking to an A&R guy or something... i dunno im printing out the promo packs right now... my only hope is that something big happens there within the next year and then i can just open up my own business and never worry about whoring myself...