fishnets_lipstix

the job that i have right now is pretty much a golden spoon and i have everything in order to make my life into something. but i keep day-dreaming about being a make-up artist and hair stylist. sometimes it's hard for me to seperate from the things i would love to do from the things i do love. make any sense?

if i could find a professional job that allows fishtails and gauged out ears in the office... i think i would be so happy with that. i'm finding things about myself that i didn't know that i had liked until just recently and i'm confused as to the things i do right now.

i'm not an anne taylor girl. i really don't dig petite sophistocated or casual corner. the limited, nine west and all that jazz. that's just the stuff i would not wear on my time off. that's my work life right there. hundred dollar heels that kills my feet by the end of the night and dress shirts i struggle the urge to wear nightly.

so am i making myself into something that i don't really desire to be but have it in my head that the only way i will be able to make it is to convert to the business-corporate life? i feel like i'm losing myself. maybe i'm still wanting to live in a fantasy world where i am the person that i still desire to be. what if i'm making a mistake by even considering a new job. i guess i can't stay young forever, but do i have to result to transforming myself into an image that i am not?

whatever, i'm off my soap box.