fishnets_lipstix

the mood i would have to describe of today would need a blender just to have all of these mixed feelings all at once.

my blood sister and brother contacted me today by myspace. i have never spoken to her via e-mail or phone until today. i'm the youngest one out of the bunch. i'm relieved. i think it's because i have always wanted to talk to them but i was too scared because i didn't want to pop up and say, " hey.. . we have the same dad. how's it goin' "?

i know that there can be nothing i can say for them to really understand that our father loved them more then they will know. it was hard for him to leave them and not look back. he and i talk about them at least once a week.

it's just so amazing to finally to talk to them. i'm making plans to come out to california to see them and my father's side of the family. i'm still flabbergasted about the whole thing.. .