fishlips

right so things lately have been tragic, sureal, sad, hopeful
my friend's father's wake was last tuesday very sad but also i can't remember when my hometown friends were all together last so it was very comforting, sort of...

while at home fro the wake Danny, my younger brother, told me that he may begin to date my friend who i have a thing for ever since i first saw her (on the bus to a band competition sophmore year) but never had the guts or confidence to act on my feelings which i think is my biggest problem with it Danny will most likely do my greatest hope, dream and fear of the last eight years
a close second hardest thing is that if they do get together Danny and i will be working at camp again this summer and when she comes to visit and she will i know that they are going to fuck and most likely fuck in the boat house and as waterfront director is a place i spend a great deal of time in so not only will Danny do something only fantasized by me will do it in my God-damned office!!
plus i won't even have my fantasy anymore because jerking off to my brother girlfriend is just bit too weird

more positively Lesley moved out last friday in with her new boyfriend in Virginia much of the tention is gone and i can still see us talking and being friends

Finally FUCK VALENTINE'S DAY !!!!!!
Ii'm dead set on getting very drunk very alone tonight a first and hopefully last for me plus play a lot of sega genesis and translating spanish busines letters
drunk!