I wish i could erase about 4 years worth of memories. Things i've said, mistakes i made, choices I chose. I wish I could erase over three quarters of the people I've slept with. I was a horrible person. Thinking about alot of the past really, really makes me dislike who I used to be. But what really frustrates me is that I had alot more people around me that I classed as friends. I know volume isn't an indicator when it comes to friendship...but I feel like ever since I stopped doing things that were self destructive, I've become alot more lonely. And alot more self concious. And alot wearier of letting people in. Which isn't fun.
dratini:
I understand exactly how you feel. I myself have a good 4 years that i would love to drop a nuke on. However, those things have made you a much stronger person and shaped who you are today. Without those things, you may not be the beautiful self reflective women i see you are today.
it:
Thats because misery loves company. its always easy to find someone to party with get high with and so on, but when its time to get serious, where the hell did everybody go? 