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fireluver

Far far away

Member Since 2004

Followers 37 Following 21

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Sunday Feb 27, 2005

Feb 27, 2005
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Just for the record, some personal info about APrimadonna:

1. I was pregnant at 18 with my high school beau. When I told him bout it, he joined the Army cuz he wasn't ready to be a Daddy. When my daughter was 4, he died. Never had a chance to know his daughter, and she never knew her Daddy.

2. Got married at 23. Husband, who was also my friend for years and years, came out of the closet to everyone's surprise. Needless to say, divorce. While I was married to him we had a son. My son is 9 years old.

3. Got married again at 26 to an asian guy who, once we were married, decided he was my "Boss". He told me what I could and could not wear. Where I could shop. What color my hair would be. That I could have no more tattoos, and the ones that I did have would be removed eventually. That I couldn't work anymore because I was going to be a stay at home Mommy and clean our house and cook meals, and blah fucking blah. My car got traded in on a Ford Windstar mini van at his demand. Because of my life up until this marriage, and the fact that I already had two children, I tried to make this work. I got pregnant in the beginning of my two year marriage. After two years of having my life run by this man, I ended things. This was not my idea of a happy life. We had a daughter together. My daughter is 7.

4. At 30 I met a guy who swept me off my feet. I should of smelled this guy's bullshit, but I was naive. He sucked me into his web of deceit. This guy was a professional con man. No shit. He lied to me about everything. His name, where he was born, where he went to college (he never did), about the rental properties he owned (he didn't own anything). He lied about everything. I didn't start finding out the truth about this guy until we were living together a year later and I was pregnant (a total accident cuz I was on the pill), and during the moving in together process I found a box of papers and shit. In this box I found birth certificates for children I knew nothing about. I found tons and tons of court documentation showing that he was in prison for years. Hard time for burglary, attempted murder, gun charges, drug charges, etc. etc. When I confronted him about all that I found, he hit me. I was pregnant with his son. So, I spent almost my entire pregnancy being abused physically, mentally, and emotionally by this guy. He would have other women in our bed. He cheated on me more times than I can count. My family had no idea what was going on in my house. I was so fucking embarassed to tell them anything because of my life up till this point. Two marriages, three children, etc. So, I kept shit to myself until I was eight months pregnant and still getting hit and I couldn't take it anymore. I packed up my kids and my shit and I left. I moved back home to my parents house because I had no money to do anything else. My littlest boy is 2 and a half years old.

During the past three years I've tried to get my mind and my shit straight. So, here I stand, a 34 year old single mother, who has four children from four entirely different fucked up relationships. My two middle kiddos live with their Dads because that is what I decided was best for them. They both live in houses with yards, and dogs, and all that good stuff that I can't give them right now.

When I look back on my life and my relationships, should I of stayed in them? Should I of put up with abuse? I don't think so. I did what I felt was right with my life and my children's lives.

So, if any of you don't want to be my friend anymore, cool. If you think I'm fucked up, cool. If you think I'm a person to be made fun of, cool. If you think I'm a joke, cool.

I've got more strength and have been through more bullshit than lots of people I know. You can either respect me for my mistakes, or judge me for them. It's your choice.

Because one sg member has aired my business to the world without even knowing me, I wanted to put it out here straight from the horses mouth. So here's my story in a few paragraphs so I can get shit off my chest and bare myself to those who wanna read this.

Don't judge till you've walked a mile in my shoes........

VIEW 20 of 20 COMMENTS
wildindigo:
You have been through relationships that most people will never have to go through and you have come out of them a stronger woman for it ! Don't let small minded people bother you, it's not worth it ! I can only imagine what you had to go through - especially in your abusive relationships - and you were courageous enough to get out.....just think of the women who are afraid to make that giant step.....you placed your children and yourself out of harm's way and DON'T EVER feel badly about your decisions ! wink
Mar 4, 2005
synngardenn:
"You are strength : of spirit, of mind, of soul
You are lioness mother, protector.
You are the sum of all your life's experiences.
YOU ARE STRONG : of spirit, of mind, of soul"


For you to have survived is not just a miracle but a testament to your spirit. I was away for a bit and missed this drama but want to let you know how honored I feel that you shared your life experience with me! Not everyone on this site is a youngster. I am 32 and while my life's experience differs from your I will share this:

My mother was in an abusive relationship for 7 years. I admire my mother for having the strength to leave. To find it within her to say enough. I know as an adult how I feel about what my mom did! I admire you for being strong like she was.

I'd consider it an honor to call you friend.
Mar 16, 2005

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