fireenginered

that was stupid. i didn't eat/drink for like, 24 hours. so like an idiot, i went straight to take a shower were i almost fainted coz my blood pressure was way too low. lying soaked on the bathroom floor with your legs on the tub trying to breath right isn't much fun. don't try it at home kids. I'm pretty tired of the Kennedy crap on tv. by now i know the life stories of his whole family and Lee Harvey Oswald. "I want to dump you but i just can't," he said. "oh that sucks. i'll just do it. there, it's all over".. talk about an akward breakup. and i don't think we even broke up. "I want some time alone," he commented. weird, i just left him alone for a whole fucking month and went to a different country. I told him being alone means staying alone. we're either together or we're apart. there's nothing in between. weird thing is, i'm full of apathy and out of emotions. nothing can hurt me now. i just don't care. it's like this trip got me ready to be alone.
i found my bliss. i want to be a cowgirl. cowboy boots are so fucking expensive, i don't understand how rednecks afford em. 500 dollars, my ass.
listening to "Faith No More - Everything's Ruined". i can relate.
i hate rain, i don't want to go back. i cant believe i gave up what i really wanted for someone who can't give up some little things for me.
Now everything's ruined, yeah.

edited for this:
me looking shitty on the subway.
and this:
my new goal in life.