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finlander

Member Since 2015

Followers 37 Following 157

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"Feelings" or a Lack of Them

Mar 6, 2016
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I don't do people very well, at all. I'm not sure how that came to be, but it probably came from years of self imposed exile and bullying. Though I punched them in the nose like my dad taught me, more seemed to take their place. So, I didn't exactly grow up or choose to be around a lot of people that I didn't know.

So now that I'm forced to deal with people on a daily basis, I find I don't know how people tick, much less how I tick. The headshrinkers I've talked to suggest I'm sensitive, and other people can affect how I feel. I don't know how to feel about that one. I can hide my emotions, bottle them up, so I don't think people can affect my emotions too much. I always see my head where I keep my emotions as a run down shed on my old farm, with shelves full of glass jars. Different shelves are different emotions, with some jars full of emotion more than others. Only problem is they start exploding if too many get full.

Anger is the primary one, followed by depression, so I'm caustic and appear threatening to people. Folks tell me I walk around looking like I want to kill someone, if that's even possible. I guess body posture can be read into more than I thought. I'm more of a 'the curtains were fucking blue' person. Feels are hard for me, probably harder than a lot of people because now I have such a higher volume of them.

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