Login
Forgot Password?

OR

Login with Google Login with Twitter Login with Facebook
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • SuicideGirls
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
Vital Stats

finlander

Member Since 2015

Followers 37 Following 157

  • Everything
  • Photos
  • Video
  • Blogs
  • Groups
  • From Others

Elves and Dwarves

Sep 5, 2015
0
  • Facebook
  • Tweet
  • Email

It's recently come to my attention from the people I choose to spend my free time with, that in their opinion, elves are in fact superior to dwarves. I, on the other hand, find elves to be punk asses that dwarves wipe the floor with. It's not just that though, its that and a combination of a whole cauldron of other things.

Just for a recent example, look at the Hobbit movies that just came out. I hardly remember the second one, only that the Elf king is a dick who decided to break his oath and turn away from the dwarves they had made an alliance with. I'm not sure about Tolkien's dwarves, but I know dwarves in warhammer fantasy would write that down in their book of grudges, and it would be answered for one day. In the third movie, the elves go to war over crown jewels that a dragon stole from them, they demand them back from the dwarves, instead of attempting to barter or anything for them. I'm a bit biased in my opinion, but I'm pretty sure that's a heavy handed way of getting what you want, and would probably end in a long and bloody war in medieval fantasy settings.

Then there's the part where Dain II Ironfoot arrives, and calls out the elves on their bullshit. Before he can kill the dick that the elves call king, the orcs arrive. The dwarves immediately decide to form a shield wall, which is a badass formation that would probably fuck the orcs up. What do the elves do, you may ask? They jump over the shield wall straight into orcs bigger than they are that are running full tilt. By all rights they should've been sent flying ass over tea kettle, but god forbid my dark wishes get fulfilled.

Warhammer fantasy, a setting of filth and magic and horrifying dinosaur men. Ah, how I love it so. The dwarves are dwarfs, and properly disgruntled and beardy. The elves here and broken into three sections, dickish and honorable, dickish hippies, and dickish bondage freaks. It boils down to this, elves here are the ones in charge of keeping the world safe from chaos, even if everyone secretly knows its the lizardmen that do all the work.

I could bitch about this for a good long while, but I doubt it would be that interesting, so I'll close it on an interesting note. Dwarves have sixteen livers.

More Blogs

  • 05.16.18
    1

    Work

    Let it be known that rubber boots and a jumpsuit in 80 degree weath…
  • 05.10.18
    0

    Ever been so busy you don’t even have time to look at boobies? That’s…

  • 04.15.18
    0

    I miss blowing shit up

  • 04.14.18
    0

    Small Town Living

    I moved outta Hawaii a couple months ago to go home to Minnesota. M…
  • 04.01.18
    1

    Snagged myself a girlfriend, let’s see how I fuck it up

  • 03.12.18
    0

    Work is boring. I can’t believe I’m looking forward to school

  • 02.15.18
    0

    Gotta thank Spotify for all these obscure metal bands I’ve discovered

  • 02.12.18
    0

    Ever taken the Meyers Briggs test? Your results might surprise you, m…

  • 02.10.18
    0

    I haven’t felt the need to drink too terribly much since I got out of…

  • 01.19.18
    0

    Lack of vice

    You know, when I was in, I was getting drunk 4 days outta the week …

We at SuicideGirls have been celebrating alternative pin-up girls for:

23
years
8
months
29
days
  • 5,509,826 fans
  • 41,393 fans
  • 10,327,617 followers
  • 4,593 SuicideGirls
  • 1,122,330 followers
  • 14,915,052 photos
  • 321,315 followers
  • 61,379,241 comments
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
  • Help
  • About
  • Press
  • LIVE

Legal/Tos | DMCA | Privacy Policy | 18 U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement | Contact Us | Vendo Payment Support
©SuicideGirls 2001-2025

Press enter to search
Fast Hi-res

Click here to join & see it all...

Crop your photo