finklestein

Before the first time I kissed a girl, she suggested I first practice on a soda can. I did. I later found that the soda can is not a suitable substitute for orifices, oral and otherwise. The soda can and I still talk on occasion.

I've been drinking too much coffee and booze. My heart feels like it's hugging a fucking brick.

The discomfort of powdered fiberglass in regard to open wounds ranks squarely between iodine and microscopic bees on the Ottoman-Thurber scale.

I'm in love with so many things lately, but it inevitably makes me sad to see them go.