Growing up in a small town, when you’re there, it doesn’t feel like there’s a world outside what you’ve always known. When I was younger, I wasn’t social. I had a lot of anxiety issues. It didn’t help that along with small town drama comes judgement.
I would dream of someday becoming a suicidegirl; when I was 14, I saw a special of the girls on TV, and I was hooked! These women were proud of their bodies and had the courage to step in front of the camera! It never really became a consideration until I started photographing sets on the site. When doing my first shoots I connected with so many new and wonderful faces; it was insane that there were others like me, edgy and creative, that lived so close! And the collaborations brought me even more connections! I began to develop deep friendships with many of these people throughout the couple of years I started photographing.
Many of these friends told me I should model, but I would always scoff. With my low self confidence, I also had a couple of boyfriends along with my then current bf that were not fans of the site and me modeling in general.
However, something inside me really really wanted it. I wanted to be those confident girls I had grown up admiring. So I said goodbye to my boyfriend, lost 30lbs and began modeling in my own sets! When I went pink I couldn’t believe it, I was overwhelmed with emotion because I felt like I was finally accepting who I was, inside and out. Soon after, I went to the SG headquarters and it was a wonderful trip! Even though I never saw him again, I felt the ultimate burn to my ex. Will always remember when he told me I could never do it.
My friendships in SG are all around the country and I’ve brought 3 Nashville girls into the community, one recently turning pink! No matter how near or far, I feel like my connections I’ve made on the site are unforgettable. We all stay very close, and if not for SG, I probably would have never met these wonderful people 💗 I can’t thank Suicidegirls enough for creating a community that allows individuals to be themselves and love others.
@missy @rambo
