figmentation

Fixed for effect:

True. But so is gout. Which I have, currently.

Pain in the joint(-s) caused by uric acid crystals in the joint fluid. Often appears in the joint at the base of the big toe. A defect of purine metabolism often due to excess of red meat or pulses in the diet; traditionally attributed to drinking too much port. Best treated by anti-inflammatories, and caution. I've had it, occasionally, for five years or so.

Nowadays it's not so bad, because the symptoms can be caught and treated early. What it was like before modern anti-inflammatories, I dread to think. (Apart from anything else, that toe joint is close to the blood supply to the toe. So it becomes hard to sleep, because you get a pulse of pain every time your heart beats.)