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figmentation

"do you need shoes to get to the ocean from here?"

Member Since 2003

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Monday Aug 13, 2007

Aug 13, 2007
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Hey all,
I'm in need of "What I do with stuff males who are no longer in my life" stories (and also an opinion or two.) You should know that I have my room roughly set up via the feng shui "grid" [it's proper name I cannot recall at this exact moment, and I use it as much as I do, because, well, it felt right.]
anyways, enough justification, onward.
My apologies for it's lengthiness, I promise there's a point.


I've gotten gifts from males throughout my life.
It happens. The guys never stick around, but they have very ardently shared some material possession with me - Usually of a very high significance to them and at a sacrifice to themselves.
One gave me a gift from over the big ocean, another a part to a robot he built, (the one part that would make the damn thing work.) Another, his prized skateboard.
Of these three gifts I'm only kindof in contact with the giver of the first, The other two have disappeared into history and memory.
The first two gifts are small and I have happily stowed in my jewelry box, and occasionally wear when the occasion is right. The third however is a skateboard, which is well loved, and was in fact the fellow's favorite skateboard. (He wasn't keen on passing it on to his brother, who was totally coveting it, and or sharing it with anyone but me.) It was his and covered in stickers, has loose trucks and wheels which need replacing, not to mention more than a few dings and scratches. It looks like any well loved skateboard should look - Not a problem within itself.

What happens to be the problem though, is that *I* do not ride a skateboard. (I had stitches from an incident with one when I was young and haven't dealt much with them since, even though I've had this one in my possession. ) I've kept this board in my "travel"/"friends" area of my room (feng shui reference ya'll) because it was given by a friend and it's used to travel on. I'm having difficulty because it's not *my* mode of transportation and one I feel very unstable on. Not to mention that I've no contact with him anymore. I moved, we lost contact. things happen.

I can't bear to put this thing in my garage. There's not really space for it in the room itself. I could put it in my study, where it was before I moved because it's randomness matched nicely there, but I'm concerned that the details from the paragraph above would screw with the idea of progression and moving on that I'm aiming for in my life.

So, my question, if you had a random skateboard at age 25 that had been given to you 5 years ago by some young chap who you haven\'t seen in that many years, what would you do with it? (and if you say toss it away, What manner would be befitting to such a well intentioned and loving gift.)

Also, What have you done with other things from past relationships which you've received? Kept them? Thrown them out? burned them in a bonfire, bronzed them? ect.

And if you were the bestower of such a gift which didn't quite fit the reciever, and it had been this long how would you feel about them moving on such a well loved and intentioned, this-is-the-only-thing-I-have-to-share-because-I'm-a-19-yr-old-skater's piece of caring? And how would you like them to do it?

Thanks,
The lovingly attached, yet so very not,
Figment.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
rodan:
at one point in my life I'd have kept it and treasured it for some unknowable sentimental reason - now I'd probably just unceremoniously toss it, or give it to Good Will or find a skate park and roll it under the gate and run like hell.... wink

I'm more into shedding stuff than accumulating it now - altho it's hard to fight the "Gotta Have It" urge every time I see some cool new toy or what have you. Sigh.
Aug 13, 2007
charmed_:
personally, i find the best way to dispose of such things is to gift them to someone who will really appreciate it, and possibly not have it any other way. i personally feel best if i recieve nothing material from the transaction (like money from a sale). i bet if you donated the skateboard to a local boys&girls club, or the ymca, then kids who otherwise could not skateboard would be able to have some recreational activity. the other two gifts might be too specific or idiosyncratic for such a thing, but if you use them as jewelry then you could consider crafting them into an art piece and making something entirely new. the feeling might be that the past is present as a small part of who you are, but not a dynamic or controlling feature of your present. or you could come up with a retirement ritual ~ burning, burying, etc. for such objects. no matter what you decide i hope your feng shui'ing goes well! i want to try that at some point for sure. kiss
Aug 13, 2007

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