Yea?
So what's the point of making plans? They never happen.
Things planned the last year that didn't happen.
~ applician trial hike
~ St Martin
~ Doing more modeling stuff
~ getting a real job
~ falling in love with an amazing guy who I got to know from far away
~ Going to Liz's wedding
~ Getting alife
~ creating a home of my own
~ spending time with people I care about
~ Starting college
~ lots of wild crazy yummy sex
Did any of that happen? no.
Do I have anything to show for the last year?
yes, a car that's almost broken due to the amount of miles put on it. a physical assult in febuary, a breach of trust, hunger... massive amounts of hunger, Being fired from more than one job, being cheated on and made a fool of, my heart being stolen by a whirlwind yummyness that won't ever happen again, The same heart to get shmashed in december by a different fellow who decided that he wished to have another, more beautiful woman by his side. (and then was too chicken shit to tell me about it.) Twice my phone being turned off due to high telephone charges from said male, no savings at all, eight or nine relocations, and a sence of self that's about as pretty and interactive as the shit hole.
So yea,
If you wanted to know *why* I'm so distant, that's why.
If you wanted to know *why* I refuse to plan anything, that's why.
But wait... when we're young, it's supposed to be shitty. That's what gaining your independance is.
yea... thanks.
I'm gonna follow this up with the statement that my life has been a fucking cake walk. I honestly have nothing to complain about... I mean. what's a few bumps, bruises, and heartbreak when someof your friends have almost died more than once? Me? With more than decent health and caring parents, and a wonderful childhood... shit. I don't know what I'm bitching about, I've had such an easy life... and such a small one at that... I'm so freaking young. 23. I sound like I'm forty, griping about how I cannnever accomplish anything. Apparently 23 isn't enough time to have accomplished anything. (so I've been told... I wouldn't know from personal experience or anything.)
So much for me trying to claim that i'm so damaged.
So what's the point of making plans? They never happen.
Things planned the last year that didn't happen.
~ applician trial hike
~ St Martin
~ Doing more modeling stuff
~ getting a real job
~ falling in love with an amazing guy who I got to know from far away
~ Going to Liz's wedding
~ Getting alife
~ creating a home of my own
~ spending time with people I care about
~ Starting college
~ lots of wild crazy yummy sex
Did any of that happen? no.
Do I have anything to show for the last year?
yes, a car that's almost broken due to the amount of miles put on it. a physical assult in febuary, a breach of trust, hunger... massive amounts of hunger, Being fired from more than one job, being cheated on and made a fool of, my heart being stolen by a whirlwind yummyness that won't ever happen again, The same heart to get shmashed in december by a different fellow who decided that he wished to have another, more beautiful woman by his side. (and then was too chicken shit to tell me about it.) Twice my phone being turned off due to high telephone charges from said male, no savings at all, eight or nine relocations, and a sence of self that's about as pretty and interactive as the shit hole.
So yea,
If you wanted to know *why* I'm so distant, that's why.
If you wanted to know *why* I refuse to plan anything, that's why.
But wait... when we're young, it's supposed to be shitty. That's what gaining your independance is.
yea... thanks.
I'm gonna follow this up with the statement that my life has been a fucking cake walk. I honestly have nothing to complain about... I mean. what's a few bumps, bruises, and heartbreak when someof your friends have almost died more than once? Me? With more than decent health and caring parents, and a wonderful childhood... shit. I don't know what I'm bitching about, I've had such an easy life... and such a small one at that... I'm so freaking young. 23. I sound like I'm forty, griping about how I cannnever accomplish anything. Apparently 23 isn't enough time to have accomplished anything. (so I've been told... I wouldn't know from personal experience or anything.)
So much for me trying to claim that i'm so damaged.
mastercraftsman:
Just. Don't hate me. Still searching....