fight_evil

its a curious thing that you can feel a great pride in what you do and be so humbled by people acknowledging your talents and also feel like you're wasting time by not using those talents. a really good friend paid me tremendous compliments about my talents as an actor and comedian and even more so about being a good friend. my heart was overwhelmed. as much as i eschew receiving compliments, it made me feel really good.

but the compliments were paid for something i did almost 3 years ago. what have i done since? what am i doing now? i'm writing a fucking blog. how is that a good use of my talents? i feel like i'm cheating myself by not doing anything. i've been writing a play for a few months now and even though i come up with great ideas all the time, when i come home i just want to take a nap and watch tv. i haven't performed in years. how is it that i can hear these things that were said about me and be overcome with self-fulfillment, then the next day feel as if i have accomplished next to nothing?

i feel as if i need more time to do what i want to do. but who am i to make such demands when i don't properly use the time i'm given? why do i feel such a lack of motivation?


on the plus side my friends keith, matt, andy and arthur are complete rockstars and their new album is coming out next week. go to their website to hear the sweet soulful pop tunes of or see them at Lollapalooza in chicago next month.World Leader Pretend