fiendclub

Does someone know something about me that I don't? Because according to my family, my sister to be exact I am very uncaring for other people including my own family. If that's true then woah I need to seriously step back and evaluate the way I treat others. But on the other hand, how could I have hurt someones feelings so much even without ever speaking to them. Last time I checked I am always the person to call and ask how everyone's been doing...even if it isnt but every 2 or 3 months. I feel weird for even picking up and calling, which is why I never do. We never have anything to talk about, and every fucking time I call she has to go because, well, nevermind on that. But according to Beckah I am selfish uncaring and have a "I am better than thou" complex toward other members of my family. I know I go on alot about all of my problems, I have alot of them, you guys only know of a fraction of what goes on in my life. I don't know shit about what the fuck goes on in Texass. I don't pretend to know I only hear back from the people that visit. And I don't want to know anymore, because i'd just wish I didnt hear it. But what I thought I knew really REALLY hurt my feelings and maybe it was completely false. But now i'm left here charred from my little sisters scathing opinion on how she's really felt about me, and MY life including my family all along and it leaves a disgusting taste in my mouth and i'm really very extremely hurt that we've grown apart in this way. After being so proud that she's doing so well. I DONT PRETEND TO BE BETTER THAN ONYONE IN MY FAMILY!!~!!!~ FUCK! My brother pushes me away! i'm sure Angie is all pissed off and up in arms cause you all are best friends out there. I never got to even know Angie because she was gone for so long and I was so frustrated as a teenager that I took everything out on the people around me. And now out in Texas you think I am the same Goddamn person. This last 2 years alone I have been through so many life changing situations it shouldnt even be real. My feelings were hurt when I was told about mom's thanksgiving especially because she was so stoked to go out and cook for everyone. The Sag in me won't let me think before I approach it, and i'll admit I was fucking pissed. PISSED. I don't know the truth now. I am equally bitter with everyone now except my parents. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS YEAH? Bollocks. This is all bullshit. Fuck it all.