fieldofdepth

So, here I am in Santa Clara. My sisters graduation was boring but the after party was a riot. Everyone was blasted by about 8 pm but did the party stop then? Hell no. My sisters husbans suggests that we all go to the lesbian bar called The Savoy. I had been there once before about two years ago. It was apparently very exciting for everyone. Ah, the first taste of gay culture. My brother and brother-in-law pretended to be gay all bight and were grinding on each other and acting silly. My sister, who is super hot and was dancing very sexy, was being watched by everyone in the bar. They must have all been wondering how I got such a hot chick. So anyway, after everyone was so drunk that we couldn't stand up anymore we left the bar and came back to my moms house. I went in the bedroom to change and when I came back out my sisters husband was rolling on the ground and smearing potato salad everywhere. So of corse I got the camer and started snapping pictures. Somehow his pants were off and my brother was shittless. All the while my sister was pounding the shit out of her husband and my brothers wife, who is pregnant, was yelling at everyone. My mom and her husband came down stairs and were laughing at us. They were pissed about the potato salad being smashed into the carpet though. SO after they got everyone to bed and my broher an his wife left they headed upstairs to be. I overheard my moms husband say, "It's all her fault, she started it." Talking baout me. Then my mom says, "Yeah, they don't know how to party like gay people." What the fuck!? What does that even mean, party like gay people? Do gay people pary harder than straight people? I wouldn't really know because I don't part that much. The last time I went to a bar was over a year ago I think. And my brother and sister get drunk every weekend. But for some reason it was all my fat, gay fault that everyone was shit faced drunk. Soooo, being as drunk as I was I got up, got on the phone to T, and told her to come get me. I told her that they were blaming everything on me because I was gay and I wasn't going to stay here anymore. I guess my sister heard me cuz she got out of bed and sat next to me on the porch. Next thing I know here comes her husband too. Only he's not wearing any pants. So he comes over, stands in front of me, and lifts up his shirt. I hid my face behind my sister and yelled, "eeeeewwww I just saw a penis!" And my girl, who was still on the phone started laughing. My sister was yelling at her husband teling him she was going to divorce him if he didn't go back in the house right now. He did, then we all passed out. I could have lived my whole life without knowing what my sisters husbands penis lookes like. It's burned into my brain forever. It was pretty funny the next day when he woke up and we were all laughing about it. He was really embarassed. As he should be.
I think that was my longest update ever. Sorry about the spelling and punctuation, I don't know how to use spellcheck on my moms computer. Hope you all are having a nice three day weekend.