Here lately life has handed me an abundance of challenges to overcome. The last few years have been the rebirthing of self. From big deaths, to serious relationship ends involving children, to having old passions die and adjusting my identity, struggling financially due to legal fees dealing with unnecessary individuals not knowing how to adult, etc. The world seems to have shaped me, taught me so much in this time. How much i have realized that in this time, it seems as if the world rotated double the time, making my existence even more obvious that time is fleeting.
I have lost so much and in that rebuilding period and going forward, i have stressed the emphasis of that statement above. How quick life can be, how easily the rug could be pulled from us. To appreciate today more. It's too easy to lose track of the day and put things off until the next day. But some aren't that lucky, so don't take for granted that could be. Leave no stone unturned.
I have a very artistic brain. So i feel self expression is very important. In my life i have been very involved in the arts, been in a semi sucessive band [that i had to personally leave this year] opening for bands i grew up listening to, to diy projects, cooking, beer brewing etc etc. One of my biggest struggle was having to put my band to rest and removing that outlet when it's been my stress relief. Even in it's struggling moments, to off nights, making hardly anything ever, late night drives home from the middle of the nowhere only to sleep a few hrs to go to my full time job that same morning. To losing friends, family, my relationship and family crumbling. I had to truly dig deep and learn who i was and who i wanted to be.
I know now more than ever what is important to me. Those little moments in between most don't chalk up to much. Those are the ones i cherish. I cherish nature more than ever and find peace in it. I find comfort in smiles of my loved ones. I long for the genuine and honest long conversation about the world and life in general. I have dipped my toes in the dating world the last 2 years of being single. Ultimately having nothing come to fruition only because of my newfound inability to settle for less than i deserve. It's refreshing and nice. At times it's a little discouraging because i only want someone to be themselves, love those little moments too, while having their own identity and chasing their dreams. I long to grow not WITH someone but alongside someone and do it together. That is the difference and maybe some may consider it a flaw but i feel that life is holding out for what i deserve. Doesn't make it any easier or harder considering how obvious time has become to me.
All that i know is i want to do my part as a human in this world. To support those who want true growth and want to live as well. To not waste my time any more than i have already. To grow as a person and let my principals and life lessons allow my 2 children and loved ones to grow as well and see what truly matters when our time is up regardless of what we chase.
If you read this, thank you for your time and patience. If anything i hope maybe my words may encourage you to blossom a little harder today, breathe in the air a little deeper, and exhale all the unnecessary things that may haunt or weigh you down.
Much Love,
Jody
