ferris

..my body is still in pain.

this past weekend tom went insane at the drunk brawl, and not in a good insane laughable way but in like an Iori from King Of Fighters insane.

he started talking about how if we could kill people and stuff at first but hen he got weird. he started to curl up and cry, saying no one cared about him or loved him and hes a cold hearted killer.

enter insanity.

he starts punching things and spazzing out. i try to calm him down and he shoves me away and starts to cry more. he got up and just started punching stuff telling us to get away, that he didnt want to hurt us.

jay and i both cornered him and tried to calm him down. he started to really loose it and attacked jay.

i locked kortnee and Mike in jays bedroom to protect them, jay backed off and tom curled back into a ball on the kitchen floor screaming to get away, he doesnt want to hurt us, he has to kill, its in his blood.

jay couldnt handle it emotionally and was about to take him out with a swift kick to the head. i stepped between them and took my fight stance.

those of you who know me, when jay and i get into our fight stances, were serious.

jay told me hell hit me too if he has too. i told him to back the fuck down and i tried to talk to tom again.

he kept saying no one cares, the blood in his body, the voices tell him to kill. he kept tellign us to get away.

jay went to check on mike and kort. kort was in tears, praying; mike was trying to calm her down.

i had jay hold back to make sure if tom got through me, he could hold him off for kort and mike to be ok.

tom threw a punch and hooked me across the face, then collapsed onto me. i held him up and told him im here and not leaving. he started sobbing and holding onto me, then headbuted me in the face screamign to kill him.

i saw in his eyes the anger, fear, just.. i cant even explain it.

this was going on from midnight till about 4am.

dan (downstairs neighbor, friend of ours) came up wondering wtf is going on, because he had to wake up at 5 for work. jay went to explain to him what was going on while i held tom cornered in the kitchen.

he punched me in the gut and tried to grapple me. i threw him back and he crawled into the bathroom.

dan went to bed, and jay went to bed. i locked their door and stayed up all night to protect jay, kort, mike and tom himself.

i lived off beer and cigaretes all night. tom woke up and came out of the bathroom, silent and appologizing about everything, not remmbering much.

keep in mind, tom has trained in juditsu or some form of martial arts since he was 10. hes now 23. i think you can tell what kind of pain im in right now.

tom left for home, we appologized to dan. i played rumble roses and watched some movies, then came home.

my blood is still stained on jays kitchen floor.

im not going to be able to sleep for awhile, and i know these memories are going to haunt me for awhile.

and people wonder why i drink..