5 Signs You're A Universitard
1. You stop talking to your betters and begin to lecture them instead because now that you've spent a few months out of high school and borderline the lower twenties, you have reached enlightenment. Never mind the fact that all of this is new to you and you didn't quite comprehend it in class, it's your duty to let the world know that you know what you're talking about. Quotes replace sentences when you speak.
2. Your favorite teacher has the right idea has The Truth of It. Never a wiser person did walk the Earth. He will be your beacon in the dark waters of intellectual darkness that you're surfing. You quote him at every chance and make sure you let your interlocutor know you learned this from 'A Teacher' and are equally eager to recite some -if not all- of his credentials. When confronted with evidence that your own personal Yoda may be wrong you simply shrug it off with 'The ORLY? Defense', change the subject, and get angry.
3. Your father -who has been working in the same thing you've just begun studying for 30 years- ain't got shit on you, and as soon as you make your first incision/land your first contract/sell your first design/try your first case, this will be evident to everyone. In the meantime, you will limit yourself to mocking their opinion and dismissing their advice (At this point you go back to #2).
4. You say you want a revolution. You sign petitions about shit you don't understand in a country you didn't even know existed and you berate anyone who won't do the same for being conservative sellouts. Your actual knowledge of the world's issues matches that of a hemorrhoid, but because you have a voice, you will make your opinion heard. Preferrably INALLCAPSONTWITTER. Once you find 8 people who share your views on Facebook, you know it's time to change your name to Legion, for you are many.
5. You have the personality of an action figure. TV shows or significant-other-in-turn determine the flavor of the month: metalhead precedes renaissance fair, which is followed by communist wiccan whose goal in life is to live in Paris avec un pote dont les yeux brillent la lumire des bougies qui vous clairent chaque nuit with brief interludes of caribbean punk nihilism. At any rate, you know none of those are 'only a phase' whenever you're going through them, although the previous one clearly was because oh your God what the hell were you thinking?
1. You stop talking to your betters and begin to lecture them instead because now that you've spent a few months out of high school and borderline the lower twenties, you have reached enlightenment. Never mind the fact that all of this is new to you and you didn't quite comprehend it in class, it's your duty to let the world know that you know what you're talking about. Quotes replace sentences when you speak.
2. Your favorite teacher has the right idea has The Truth of It. Never a wiser person did walk the Earth. He will be your beacon in the dark waters of intellectual darkness that you're surfing. You quote him at every chance and make sure you let your interlocutor know you learned this from 'A Teacher' and are equally eager to recite some -if not all- of his credentials. When confronted with evidence that your own personal Yoda may be wrong you simply shrug it off with 'The ORLY? Defense', change the subject, and get angry.
3. Your father -who has been working in the same thing you've just begun studying for 30 years- ain't got shit on you, and as soon as you make your first incision/land your first contract/sell your first design/try your first case, this will be evident to everyone. In the meantime, you will limit yourself to mocking their opinion and dismissing their advice (At this point you go back to #2).
4. You say you want a revolution. You sign petitions about shit you don't understand in a country you didn't even know existed and you berate anyone who won't do the same for being conservative sellouts. Your actual knowledge of the world's issues matches that of a hemorrhoid, but because you have a voice, you will make your opinion heard. Preferrably INALLCAPSONTWITTER. Once you find 8 people who share your views on Facebook, you know it's time to change your name to Legion, for you are many.
5. You have the personality of an action figure. TV shows or significant-other-in-turn determine the flavor of the month: metalhead precedes renaissance fair, which is followed by communist wiccan whose goal in life is to live in Paris avec un pote dont les yeux brillent la lumire des bougies qui vous clairent chaque nuit with brief interludes of caribbean punk nihilism. At any rate, you know none of those are 'only a phase' whenever you're going through them, although the previous one clearly was because oh your God what the hell were you thinking?
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And my boy is very handsome. He can't help himself!