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ferinus

Peterborough

Member Since 2007

Followers 52 Following 46

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Thursday May 03, 2012

May 3, 2012
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Warning! this is a moany venting blog, if you dont want a downer dont read it..

Ergh so I feel like a massive dick..
I cooled it off with the girl I met a few weeks ago, she turned out to go hard and fast into wanting a relationship..
She wanted me to stay with her at her familys this weekend.. I've been on two dates with her.. I'm not wrong in thinking this was a little wierd?

I told her from the begining that I was just out of a relationship and although I wasn't completely anti relationship I'd need to take baby steps.. and that was before work became dirt stressfull (thats solved now though)..

My sister also tried to kill herself last week... I've only spoken to a few people about this, it was 2am and she just came downstairs crying saying she'd done something stupid.. My mum was 4 hours away in cardiff after her telling me she'd taken a whole box of some stupidly powerfull painkillers I forced her to drink water untill she vomited as we waited for an ambulance.. she couldn't put her fingers down her throat..
We got her to hospital in time and they released her 8 hours later after feeding her charcoal and doing tests then making her see a psyc.. I called my mum after the first 3 hours when the testing came back saying she was going to be ok.. I didnt want mum driving for 4 hours worrying about the worst untill I knew if it was or wasnt going to happen..

Either way this is been playing on my mind (obviously) and on top of this new girl becoming overly dependant on me she's blaitently depressed i see the signs I've been there with an old gf before.. I wish I could help her, but she's seeing a doctor and In the emotional state im in I can barely help myself..
Still she text me saying she was fed up of guys using her and that I'd only wanted one thing.. she later admitted she knew I didnt want one thing and that if I needed space she'd give me it..
This is all a massive pile of crazy for someone I've only known 3 weeks wtf..

I feel better for writing all this.. only some peeps at work know whats going on with her and only a couple know about my sister..
I still dont trust her completely.. I know it was a stupid cry for help otherwise the docs wouldnt have let her out or she wouldnt have come downstairs.. I would've just found her dead.. and that's the scary thing I dont want that to happen.. she seemed perfectly happy before that happened.

I now hate her ex boyfriend who's a scyzophrenic ex junky.. apparently he's been fucking her about... this makes me worry about the girl I cooled it off with.. I know it's overkill but what if she reacts badly to me cooling things??
Not my responsabillity I suppose.. or is that just a rationalisation?
Fuck knows.. the gyms been helping me feel better.. and might treat myself to something off of lovehoney as well lol
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
fische:
Aw it'll all sort itself out, honest. Glad your sisters talkin even a little bit more/it's a good sign. Thank you, glad you liked. N yeh, considering it was Bigiddys first, he did great. That's cool about the editing smile my first set was with Lavezzero n yes, talented lady x
May 4, 2012
bigiddy:
Nine times out of ten, [in this case] the guy often comes off looking the worst in this kind of situation because it sounds like you can't really 'win' either way. I often find that laying low and sticking to the shadows for a while is always best.

Oh, and thanks for the comments about the set: I was a bit nervous about it coming out but it appears to be doing OK. It wasn't difficult to make this girl look good, if I'm honest...
May 5, 2012

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