SEX QUIZ #1: LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION
1. Did it in bed? yes
2. In a waterbed? no
3. In parents' bed? yes
4. Got cookin' in a kitchen? yes
5. Got pistons popping in a car? yes
6. In a moving car? yes
7. In a moving car while you're driving? yes
8. In a Mini or other miniscule vehicle? no
9. Had actual roll in hay? no
10. Got dirty in car wash? no
11. "Split A tree" in the woods? yes
12. Did some plunging in a waterfall? no
13. Got "down" in a sleeping bag? no
14. Got prickled in poison oak or ivy? no
15. Enjoyed locomotion by the ocean? no
16. In a shower? yes
17. Perfected your stroke in the in a pool? no
18. Got hot in jacuzzi? no
19. Got blown or blew somebody in back alley? no
20. Did it against a fence? no
21. Banged in a bar restroom? no
22. Made music at a concert? no
23. Worked up a sweat at a sporting event? no
24. Sunk it in the eighth hole? no
25. Moored your vessel on a boat? no
26. Joined the "Mile High" club on a plane? no
27. Sharpened a pencil in your office? no
28. Sharpened a pencil on your bosses' desk? no
29. Dug it out in a cemetery? no
30. Screamed "Oh God!!" in a church? no
31. Did the in-and-out at a drive in? no
32. Got some Good-N-Plenty at the movie theater? yes, twice
33. Acted out an X-rated scene in a porn theater? no
34. Spooged in a Spooge booth (by yourself doesn't count)? no
35. Got a happy ending at massage parlour? no
36. Got a personal anatomy lesson and a high school reuinion? no
37. Tried it on for size in a department store dressing room? no
38. Coupled up at a wedding? no
39. Buried it deep at a funeral? no
40. Did it in any public place in broad daylight ? no, but I did it at night
41. Got slammed in prison? no
Bonus question: Have you ever got in between the sheets at a mattress store?
10 points!!
Okay, you get one point for each one you mark, the possible score is 51 for
this one. There are a few more tests, and I will give you your sex report
card when you a finished with the tests. Have fun!!!
MY SCORE IS: 8
Max Score: 51
Average Score: 13
Sex Quiz #2: BASICS
1. Gave or recieved a hickey? Yes
2. Ate food off of someones naked bod? Yes
3. Watched a porn video with lover? no, unless Mason counts
4. Performed striptease for lover ? nope
5. Talked dirty? yes
6. Asked, or was asked "who's pussy is this?" ? no
7. Had claw marks on back next morning? yeah
8. Gave or recieved a "pearl necklace"? not unless she wears the necklace on
her belly-button
9. Pleasured or was pleasured with a cucumber, fruit, or other household
product? Nope
10. Was with somebody with a genital piercing? no
11. Had a virgin? no, but I bath in their blood
12. Placed or recieved finger is asshole? yep
13. Shaved someone or was shaved? yes
14. Had anal sex? yes, I gave it several times (to a girl!!!)
15. Had a homosexual experience? nope
16. Visualized someone else? yep
17. Participated in "mercy fuck"? yeah
18. Got the giggles or hiccups? yeah, right after she said "I can't believe I
finally met the neighbor!"
19. Did a pro? no, but I've been offered a $5 bj in Detroit
Guys only
1. was with a female ejaculator? yes
2. was with a screamer? oh yeah
3. gave a girl multiples? yes, once
Girls only
1. had sex with a man who had a horse schlong?
2. Had sex with a man with a needle dick?
3. faked it?
POSSIBLE SCORE: 22
AVERAGE SCORE: 14
MY SCORE: 13
Yes
2. Ate food off of someones naked bod?
Yes
3. Watched a porn video with lover?
Yes
4. Performed striptease for lover ?
Yes
5. Talked dirty?
Fuck yes.
6. Asked, or was asked "who's pussy is this?" ?
No. It's more like Q: What are you? A: Your bitch!
7. Had claw marks on back next morning?
Expect nothing less
8. Gave or recieved a "pearl necklace"?
No.
9. Pleasured or was pleasured with a cucumber, fruit, or other household product?
That's degrading. Never.
10. Was with somebody with a genital piercing?
No.
11. Had a virgin?
Yes. Worthless.
12. Placed or recieved finger is asshole?
Yes.
13. Shaved someone or was shaved?
Yes.
14. Had anal sex?
Saving that for true love.
15. Had a homosexual experience?
Yes. God bless pussy.
16. Visualized someone else?
No.
17. Participated in "mercy fuck"?
Yes
18. Got the giggles or hiccups?
Yes.
19. Did a pro?
Ew, No.
Girls only
1. had sex with a man who had a horse schlong?
Absolutely. Never been with a man packin anything less than much above average.
2. Had sex with a man with a needle dick?
Nope.
3. faked it?
Nope. I refuse to waste my time with someone who I'd have to fake it with. If he didn't get the job done, I'm takin over.
Wow. I'm in an open minded mood.
1. Did it in bed? yes
2. In a waterbed? no
3. In parents' bed? no
4. Got cookin' in a kitchen? no
5. Got pistons popping in a car? yes
6. In a moving car? not actual intercourse...
7. In a moving car while you're driving? see above
8. In a Mini or other miniscule vehicle? no
9. Had actual roll in hay? no
10. Got dirty in car wash? no
11. "Split A tree" in the woods? no
12. Did some plunging in a waterfall? no
13. Got "down" in a sleeping bag? no
14. Got prickled in poison oak or ivy? no
15. Enjoyed locomotion by the ocean? no
16. In a shower? yes
17. Perfected your stroke in the in a pool? no
18. Got hot in jacuzzi? no
19. Got blown or blew somebody in back alley? no
20. Did it against a fence? no
21. Banged in a bar restroom? no
22. Made music at a concert? no
23. Worked up a sweat at a sporting event? no
24. Sunk it in the eighth hole? no
25. Moored your vessel on a boat? no
26. Joined the "Mile High" club on a plane? no
27. Sharpened a pencil in your office? no
28. Sharpened a pencil on your bosses' desk? no
29. Dug it out in a cemetery? no
30. Screamed "Oh God!!" in a church? no
31. Did the in-and-out at a drive in? no
32. Got some Good-N-Plenty at the movie theater? again, not actual sex
33. Acted out an X-rated scene in a porn theater? no
34. Spooged in a Spooge booth (by yourself doesn't count)? no
35. Got a happy ending at massage parlour? no
36. Got a personal anatomy lesson and a high school reuinion? no
37. Tried it on for size in a department store dressing room? no
38. Coupled up at a wedding? no
39. Buried it deep at a funeral? no
40. Did it in any public place in broad daylight ? yes
41. Got slammed in prison? no
Bonus question: Have you ever got in between the sheets at a mattress store?
10 points!!
Okay, you get one point for each one you mark, the possible score is 51 for
this one. There are a few more tests, and I will give you your sex report
card when you a finished with the tests. Have fun!!!
MY SCORE IS: 4
Max Score: 51
Average Score: 13
Sex Quiz #2: BASICS
1. Gave or recieved a hickey? Yes
2. Ate food off of someones naked bod? No
3. Watched a porn video with lover? Yes
4. Performed striptease for lover ? No
5. Talked dirty? Yes
6. Asked, or was asked "who's pussy is this?" ? No
7. Had claw marks on back next morning? No
8. Gave or recieved a "pearl necklace"? No
9. Pleasured or was pleasured with a cucumber, fruit, or other household product? Yes
10. Was with somebody with a genital piercing? no
11. Had a virgin? No
12. Placed or recieved finger is asshole? No
13. Shaved someone or was shaved? Yes
14. Had anal sex? No
15. Had a homosexual experience? Yes
16. Visualized someone else? Yes
17. Participated in "mercy fuck"? Um, yeah. Although I never though of it in those terms.
18. Got the giggles or hiccups? Yeah
19. Did a pro? No
Guys only
1. was with a female ejaculator?
2. was with a screamer?
3. gave a girl multiples?
Girls only
1. had sex with a man who had a horse schlong? Yes
2. Had sex with a man with a needle dick? No
3. faked it? No
POSSIBLE SCORE: 22
AVERAGE SCORE: 14
MY SCORE: 10