fergie_racer

The scary thing is, I feel that my memory just isn't that sharp any more. And it's not just that; I feel like the whole last 4 years of my life has been one big blur. I mean I can still spout off a bunch off engineering terms that I learned in my classes, but I can't really remember a lot about my social life, or even specific events for that matter. Even for the past month and a half that I've been home, I don't really remember much of what's been going on. I wake up day to day, and it never really feels like the day changed.

All I can remember is big events, like the little fling I had with my neighbor, and of course almost marrying Becca. I guess what I'm getting at, is that I wish my life didn't feel so mundane and pitiful all the time. Hopefully starting my new job in a few weeks will make things better. Starting a new life will be exciting again.

I'm actually thinking about quitting drinking, at least for a while. That is probably the main reason I'm depressed all the time.

These next few weeks are going to be real tough. I have -$2.83 to my name, I need $125 for a security deposit, I need some money to move down to Indiana, and I need some start up cash to get food and other supplies. I think I'm going ot call up my employer and ask if they can give me some money for relocation, or just give me an advance on my first pay check. I think I can get some money from my parents, but I hate asking them for money all the time.

Well my little niece will be here in the morning, so I should probably get some sleep.