I was out celebrating my birthday with my girlfriend yesterday: brunch at egg and a trek through Williamsburg, where the hip is so thick you have to wear skinny jeans to fit through the cracks. I picked up some cute superhero shirts for my niece's upcoming birthday, and some not-so-cute stuff for myself (unless you count a Magic Garden as cute for someone who just turned thirty). I knew that my gf had something elaborate planned for that evening after dinner at the greatest chophouse known to mankind, so we were making a quick stopoff for her to prepare.
As we walked into the building, the super's one-legged husband (who used to be the super until diabetes claimed his leg) was shootin' the shit with a bunch of workers in a red van "There goes 5K" he said, and I didn't think much of it. We were greeted at my apartment by an open door and loud "ka-chunk"-ing noises. Two burly goons were tearing into my wall with a mini jackhammer and were shocked to see us arrive. We were shocked to see two burly goons ripping my wall apart, with a shelf full of expensive vinyl figures signed by Jamie Hewlett and Gorillaz thrown around and broken.
My super had decided, in the face of an "emergency" (which had to do with old pipes and a leak) she'd just let these lugs barge into my apartment without my knowledge. Needless to say, we all had words, my super claimed she didn't have my number (the one that she calls at six in the morning when I have a package) and couldn't get it from the management company (the one that I called to discuss the incident with not two minutes later), and she threw my keys down and went off in a huff of "I can't deal with this -- I'm sick" martyrdom. The thugs left without fixing the problem (must be quite an "emergency" if it can wait until Monday), and I began the calls to everyone involved, letting them know that this violates my lease and that I expect to be compensated for the damage done to my shit.
Then we got dressed all pretty, went to eat filet mignon au poivre and red berry bibble, and returned to the absolute best birthday I've ever had -- a scavenger hunt through my apartment to find a present for every year of my meager existence. Best girlfriend ever.
As we walked into the building, the super's one-legged husband (who used to be the super until diabetes claimed his leg) was shootin' the shit with a bunch of workers in a red van "There goes 5K" he said, and I didn't think much of it. We were greeted at my apartment by an open door and loud "ka-chunk"-ing noises. Two burly goons were tearing into my wall with a mini jackhammer and were shocked to see us arrive. We were shocked to see two burly goons ripping my wall apart, with a shelf full of expensive vinyl figures signed by Jamie Hewlett and Gorillaz thrown around and broken.
My super had decided, in the face of an "emergency" (which had to do with old pipes and a leak) she'd just let these lugs barge into my apartment without my knowledge. Needless to say, we all had words, my super claimed she didn't have my number (the one that she calls at six in the morning when I have a package) and couldn't get it from the management company (the one that I called to discuss the incident with not two minutes later), and she threw my keys down and went off in a huff of "I can't deal with this -- I'm sick" martyrdom. The thugs left without fixing the problem (must be quite an "emergency" if it can wait until Monday), and I began the calls to everyone involved, letting them know that this violates my lease and that I expect to be compensated for the damage done to my shit.
Then we got dressed all pretty, went to eat filet mignon au poivre and red berry bibble, and returned to the absolute best birthday I've ever had -- a scavenger hunt through my apartment to find a present for every year of my meager existence. Best girlfriend ever.
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
tweedle:
thanks for the add 
porphyria:
Thanks for the positive feedback on my set, it was sweet of you.