I miss this girrrl, my soulchick
I miss this dickhead too, even though he wears me out with his troubles
I'm honoured to have him as a friend
My old neighbour, I call him my brother. We have been through a lot, including the death of his younger brother
One of my oldest friends, who went all family on me!
Me with her son this past Australian summer (check out the long hair!!)
Aaaah one of my old workmates and close friends, probably one of the funniest people I know
My P.I.E, this girl is my dancing partner from Sydney
Some of the girls, we're a tough bunch
My home town looking pretty at night
The house I grew up in, it's weird to think someone else lives there now
My pichka machka's, I miss them terribly, my Dad is fattening them up for me!!
I miss Macedonia, hopefully I'll get to travel there next year and visit everyone again
Greece! Fucking gorgeous, I want to go back this year (if only my body would shrink back to that shape)
I feel like doing this a lot at the moment, I think spring makes me contemplative, which isn't a bad thing
My Nanna, the best Italian Nanna ever, the best cook ever, fuck I miss her, fuck she's cool
I miss this, my family, the nuclear unit we once were.
Most of all I miss my Mum. I wish she was here.
The day before she died I wrote this:
My Mum is dying. We're not sure of how long she has, but it will be soon. The cancer has become extremely aggressive. Her bloodstream is full of clots. Eventually one of these will end it all for her, I can only hope that it is quick and as painless as possible. She has suffered enough at the hands of this cancer over the last 6 months.
I am so not ready for this. How can you ever be ready I guess? I just didn't think it would be so soon. I feel robbed and cheated. The pain is almost unbearable. I am about to lose my mother. My mentor, my creator. I still have so much to learn from her and I am never going to get that chance now. I love her so much.
I can't believe it's been nearly 4 years. I hope she'd be proud of what I'm doing. I miss her every day. I look in the mirror and see her. She is my reason for being where I am today and doing what I am doing. I love her.
she is v proud of you
Longer journal than I am used to seeing from you.
Thanks for sharing.
You know that nothing anyone says is comforting, you know all the arguments, all the ways of trying to make it better than it is. All those arguments of people worse off than you.
It comes down to the fact, you miss your mum, and you want her back, but nobody can give you that. keep to those memories and go and visit your nana as soon as you can. She is your link, and any extra learning you want to do can come from her.
Your friend loosing his brother is no better.
All I know mate is that everyone will loose someone on the way. No class structure, nothing can change that. And I know that all those people that are gone, would want us to live a happy life. So we try. We try every day, and when anniversary days come round, nothing has changed, we are just feel like we are allowed to grieve more around that time, so we do.
If you can`t eat mate, come visit me, I`ll fatten you up and send you off with a bag of shopping.
I mean it.
Whitechapel is the nearest tube.
*big hugs*