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fenix

NEW YORK

SG Since 2015

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Blog Homework: What are 5 things you wish you could tell yourself 5 years ago?

Mar 4, 2017
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This picture was actually taken 5 years ago so I thought it was appropriate!

I'm a strong believer in everything happens for a reason so this blog post is actually extremely difficult to write.

5 years ago I was 20 years old, living with some roommates actually 2 blocks away from where I'm living now with my boyfriend. That me was very sick from stress. I had a skin condition where I swelled anywhere and everywhere under any type of stress. so the first thing I'd tell my self is:

1. LET GO.
Stop worrying so much, Stop over thinking, stop not trusting, just be free, because life will take you on its slide and there is no turning back, no slowing down, and no taking anything back. When I realized this 2 years ago after hitting rock bottom, I got over my fears, my worries, and all my stresses and I finally healed. Its been 2 years since my last episode of swelling.

That actually brings me to number 2.

2. WHAT OTHERS THINK OF YOU IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
I had just gotten into modeling and I was so overly worried about what others thought of me, if I was topless, what my family would think. And guess what...no one cares now. I mean granted they did for a little bit but they all got over it. And my relationships with my family members are actually better now then ever. They respect me for doing my thing and not giving a fuck.

3. JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE SEEMS SWEET AND INNOCENT DOESN'T MEAN THEY ARE.
5 years ago I lived in that exact apartment with a girl who actually had been stealing tons of money (and weed) from me! She claimed to be my best friend and ended up taking around 1500 dollars in money and weed. Her boyfriend ended up telling me this all when they got into a huge fight. I never spoke to her again.

4. SAVE YOUR MONEY.
Ha. This is probably a little cliche but back then I blew THOUSANDS of dollars on weed. Yes that's right...weed. I was a huge pot head, and still am. But it was totally unnecessary. I could've saved, I could've traveled and I didn't.

And my last one takes me back to 1 and 2.

5. BE WHOEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT TO BE.
I was so worried about what my family and boyfriend(who I'm not even with anymore) thought. I DIDNT APPLY TO BE SG! WTF. And that was one of my dreams from the age of 15! Now Im turning 25 this year...I'm a hopeful and who knows how far along my modeling career would be if I just didn't give a fuck.

But hey...everything happens for a reason.

@rambo @missy

VIEW 20 of 20 COMMENTS
vanp:
we are!
Mar 16, 2017
chef_loc:
Great blog, it's nice to learn a little more about you! Β @vanp is one of my favorite girls on this site!πŸ˜ƒ
Mar 22, 2017

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